Neverendum taken to Boremore Political mortuary ‘showed signs of life’

Campaigns need momentum and vision to enthuse a people. AhDinnaeKen investigates the Skints damp squib Neverendum and reports on why it looks like it’s finally departed this mortal coil.

The Neverendum debate was brought here yesterday where it showed signs of life. It was later pronounced 'well and truly deid'.

The Neverendum debate was brought here yesterday where it showed signs of life. It was later pronounced ‘well and truly deid’.

By Kikt Bukket

A PROBE has been launched after a Neverendum taken to a parliamentary mortuary showed “potential signs of life”.

The Neverendum had fallen from the Lackovision Bridge in Skintland on Tuesday and, after attempts to resuscitate it, was pronounced deid at the scene.

An undertaker took the debate to Boremore Plasticine Parliament where, during routine checks, staff became concerned that the Neverendum was showing “potential signs of life”.

However, following the pension administration announcement yesterday, the Neverendum was pronounced well and truly ‘deid’.

The incident is being investigated by the International Community and the Nothing Bettertaedae Committee.

The Westminster Ambulance Service said it was reviewing the case.

‘Boresville campaigning’
Hauf deid supine deathly boring automated MSP zombie spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “Following campaign retrieval and having bored the electorate for some time, Wee Ecky and Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon made every effort to resuscitate the debate.

“But when you’ve got the likes o’ Tony Blairjenkins, pantsonfiregate and ‘levers‘ as a vision for self determination, whit dae you expect?

“Ah’m surprised it’s gone on this long, it’s been hauf deid for a while noo.”

Emergency services had been called to the Lackovision Bridge, where the Neverendum was brought ashore and the SNP ambulance crew unsuccessfully attempted to resuscitate it.

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