Hurrah! Sturgeon promises more of the same

Skintland and England may propose marriage to each other in the event of separation, Firstminster in waiting Sturgeon is expected to say today.

"Power is the great aphrodisiac" - Henry A. Kissinger. And the Firstminster is nothing if not addicted to his aphrodisiac aides.

“Power is the great aphrodisiac” – Henry A. Kissinger. And the Firstminster is nothing if not addicted to his aphrodisiac aides.

By Maira Thesame

SKINTLAND AND basturt England will be the best of basturt friends after the basturt Neverendum vote Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon will claim today.

She reckons that England and Skintland will become such good ‘crazy’ friends that the only natural conclusion will be a new marriage commitment to Union.

Sturgeon has already signalled, in a move widely interpreted as political flirting, that Skintland will stay in a currency Union, remain in the European Union and take part as full members of a NATO led first-strike nuclear alliance Union.

In effect, Skintland will be more Unionist than the Unionists.

To reinforce this, she pointed critics in the direction of the SNP’s Euro vote abstention for more transparency in the tax reporting of exploitatitve corporate tax avoiders.

The Deputy Miss Leader is expected to propose that she and Firstminster Salmond could move into number 10 Downing Street to show David Cameron just how committed the SNP will be to England and her power base.

“We want some of that action” she said.

Ahead of her speech, the Miss Leader highlighted areas where Skintland hopes to emulate Westminster.

She said: “There are many flaws with the current Whollyrude system of government.

“The unicameral system of packing important committees with supine and compliant SNP MSPs is great for us. How else could a pile of kneejerk pish like the Football Song Banning Bill get rubber stamped through the plasticine parliament?

“Or how about Westminster’s notion of parliamentary sovereignty? Everyone knows in Skintland that sovereignty begins and ends with the Firstminster.”

Skintland and England are expected to renew their vows of Union, no matter which way the Neverendum result turns out.

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Filed under Newspeak, Referendum

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