Chronic pain sufferers to be relieved post Sep 2014

The crippling pain suffered at present by almost 4 million Skints is due to end on the 19th September 2014, legal experts have confirmed. AhDinnaeKen reports:

"SNP assertions are a concept by which we measure our pain." - John Lennon. All we are saying, is give peace a chance.

“SNP assertions are a concept by which we measure our pain.” – John Lennon. All we are saying, is gies peace and a chance.

By Maheidz Gowpin

VOTERS WITH chronic pain in Skintland will find relief post 19th September 2014 according to mental and physical wellbeing experts.

People who are most afflicted are being advised to avoid watching telly, reading newspapers or using Twitter or the Internet.

The cause of the pain has been sourced directly to the monotonous daily drone emanating from the alleged debate surrounding Skintland’s so called ‘day of dustbinry’.

Chronic pain-in-arsedom is often attached to other conditions such as Yes campaign assertions and Bitter Thegither scaremongering, which means that the average Skints parka is often left to suffer on their own.

About 200 people a year are sent to Bath in Somerset to be ‘cleansed’ by the puritan nationalist supremacist who lives in a cupboard under the stairs there.

Campaigners want Skintland to have its own cupboard under the stairs to ‘cleanse’ the chronic pain.

In an address to the plasticine parliament, Piggy Eyed Patsy Healthminster Alex Kneel said: “The Skintish Executive is committed to diverting stories from the recent cancergate findings.

“I am desperate to look as if I give a sh*t about people rather than presiding over a system which forces people to leave their ain country in order to stay alive.”

Sceptics, cynics, traitors, quislings and inferiorists all believe that the pain will end on 19th September 2014.

Pessimistic experts believe it could result in the end of chronic pain and enter into a new phase of devastatingly humiliatingly crippling pain.

Rupert Murdoch was unavailable for comment.

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