Sometimes creeping torpor, slithering ennui and an ever present sardonic smile isn’t enough to keep the Neverendum boredom at bay. AhDinnaeKen takes a lazy gambol over the previous week’s news. ZZZzzzz…
Sunday May 19: Big Brother is watching your child
The Sunday Express runs a chilling story which, despite the Big Brother graphic and overly sensationalised conclusions, perfectly illustrates the controlling aspect of the Nationalist mindset.
All Skintish children are to have a ‘named person’ looking after them, noting down all reported instances of anti-Skintish thoughtcrime or behaviour exhibited by the child’s parents. Information recorded is then entered into a database to be used later in order to assign citizenship grading – a form of social audit.
According to the report, the specific aim of the bill is “to undermine parents and give the “community” a greater role in raising children.”
In Orwell’s seminal novel, 1984, the chief protagonist, Winston Smith’s, neighbour, Parsons, falls prey to his children reporting him to the thoughtpolice for speaking in his sleep against Big Brother. A ridiculous notion for modern day Skintland but…
Summed up: The moral difference, if any, between a citizen and a civilian is, a citizen accepts responsibility for the protection of the body politic. A civilian does not. All civilians should beware, the SNP thoughtpoliceman in your home could be your ‘citizenised’ child.
Monday May 20: The Cancer Sufferer Clearances
Piggy Eyed Patsy Healthminster, Alex Kneel, is ambushed and metaphorically bang ganged on the BBC’s Call Specialkay programme. His policies on health, mean that Skintish cancer sufferers wishing to live, will have to leave Skintland and live in England – a post-modern clearances meme for Bella Caledonication types.
Even the presbyterian puritan wing of the Independence movement cannot deny the natural conclusion of Kneel’s performance and explanations regarding the dispensation of life saving cancer drugs..
No matter how he, his cat herding political master, or his political master’s Star Chamber spin it, access to life saving Cancer drugs is found to be dependent on price and the rulings of SMC managers – not clinicians – in Skintland.
Summed up: The poison chalice of health imposed on the Piggy Eyed Patsy
is seriously undermining him. He might yet end up being called Doctor Death. A shameful example of how ‘we do things differently here’.
Tuesday May 21: Nationalists publish a very serious docupamphlet – Skintland’s Economy: the Heidcase for Independence.
At first the forensically detailed 69 page docupamphlet reads like the much vaunted positive case for the Union. It makes it easy to imagine Bitter Together stealing some of the rhetoric and assertions for later use…
In the document’s foreword, the anointed one, Sun King Salmond himself, pleads his visionary case for more levers.
Martin Luther King had a dream. Moses had a vision. Alex Salmond wants a full set of levers.
That’s right, levers! A full set! The sort of economic implements you lever economic levers economically with.
It’s certainly inspired AhDinnaeKen with the zeal and vision of new flowering Skintish political landscapes populated with all different types of levers – economic, political, cultural and social.
In the document’s foreword, in reference to Skintland, Wee Ecky says, “we lack a full set of economic levers”. He also says we are a lever deprived country because he later adds, “Westminster deprives Scotland of the levers.”
And, as he further explains, it’s all Westminster’s lever hoarding fault because they’re durty English lever hoarding basturts. How dare they? They’ll be voting in their droves for a Nationalist party soon and be wanting to lever themselves out of the Union next, er, haud on?!
We don’t have anywhere enough levers in Skintland according to the Firstminster. We need, and must have, more levers for levering the other economic levers to give us more leverage, or something.
Summed Up: I’m not an Indy A-lever, are you an Indy B-lever?
Wednesday May 22: It’s oor baw an’ aw. Gie’s a gemme or wur no playin’
Ex-banker Salmond threatens to embarrass Skintland on the international stage by reneging on its debt obligations to the rUK.
In a speech to some bus makers while launching the Heidcase for Independence docupamphlet, he tells the Chancer of the Exchequer that he kens it’s the Chancer’s baw, but if he disnae get a shot, he’s no gonnae play, and he’s takin’ aw the jumpers gettin’ used as goal posts.
Summed up: Are we supposed to take the Nationalists seriously? This reminds AhDinnaeKen of a similarly styled threat made by Wee Eck at the Johnnie Walked rally in 2009. Paul Walsh, Heid Honcho of Dirageo, ‘bitch slapped’ Salmond fir that wan. Take heed – or is that heid? – Wee Ecky, yer tea’s oot.
Thursday May 23: FMQs – sombre mood, sombre conclusions
With his most serious, sombre and statesmanlike voice and poise, Dr Death Salmond is virtually forced by Wee Jimmie Krankie Lamont to admit what Piggy Eyed Patsy Kneel had already admitted earlier in the week: if you’ve got cancer and money in Skintland you will live, if you don’t, you will die. Unless, that is, you move to England where they still dispense these drugs free at point of need.
Summed up: AhDinnaeKen has a degree of sympathy for the Skints government on this one. But the vast majority of our* heartfelt sympathy goes out to the cancer patients denied treatment due to cost.
Friday May 23: Curriculum for Mediocrity is still mediocre shock!
Elitist, nepotist and most despicable of all the Nationalists, Mike Bernhard Rust-ell, continues to ignore the impending disaster of his creepy and tainted Curriculum for Mediocrity.
Anyone who has ever read the philosophical values and associated guff which accompanies their schoolchild’s school reports etc. cannot help but be apprehensive regarding its emphasis on ‘citizenship’ and ‘values’. Tied in with the ‘Named Person’ policy outlined above, it’s easily viewed as more than sinister – a conclusion only cemented given the ‘thistle grasping’ minster in charge.
Summed up: A prima facie example of unproven assertion directed straight into policy. No wonder the teachers are revolting.
Saturday May 24: New BBC Skintland Editor required for build up of Neverendum snore-athon documentaries.
The great thing about this new position is that, no matter who gets the job, they will automatically be accused of bias by somebody. And long may that continue. As AhDinnaeKen once pointed out, the BBC is biased against everybody. Lord Reith himself would have been proud of such an accusation.
Expect to see the following labels crop up in the coming months: British Brainwashing Corporation, British Bolshevik Corporation and British Bourgeoise Corporation etc etc tedious etc.
Summed up: Neutrality always looks like support fir the ither side.