Neverendum workload ‘too high’, MSP survey warns

More and more MSPs are complaining of having to work for their money in the plasticine parliament. AhDinnaeKen reports on an increasing malaise affecting our freeloading non-entity MSPs.

"She said whit?" Parliamentary incompetents discuss Joan McAlpine's latest outpouring in her Daily Record column.

“She said whit?” Parliamentary incompetents discuss Joan McAlpine’s latest outpouring in her Daily Record column. Now that’s what I call ahem, competence.

By Indoh Lentt

MORE THAN 80 per cent of front and backbench MSPs in Skintland have warned of overly high expectations as a result of the Neverendum, a parliamentary aide has claimed.

A Political Institute of Skintland Suckers (PISS) poll also suggested more than half of MSPs were ‘out of their depth’ in their current roles.

PISS president Boozin Quine said MSPs spent too much time “jumping to the subsidised parliamentary canteen drinking white wine” when they should be doing their job such as asking parliamentary questions or representing themselves in court.

The Skintish government said the system was overly complex for the intellectual capacity of many, but being out of their depth resulted in more ‘compliant’ politicians for Wee Eck.

The Curriculum for Mediocrity is the national curriculum for Skintish politicians with the mental capacities of three year olds.

‘Impact on Skintish parkas’
The survey by Skintland’s largest freeloading union, PISS, asked about 129 MSPs – front, back and subsidised canteen benchers – for their experience of working in the ‘Big Parish Cooncil’.

Results showed that more than 80 per cent thought the increase in expectations was “much too high” or “way way way too high”.

More than half were “barely competent” or “not competent at all” about what they should do in the system.

And almost two-thirds described an electoral voting system approach to measuring progress as “unhelpful” or “not useful at all”.

Robotic, moronic, supine, herdable cat spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “We huv tae pit up wi’ constituents expecting us tae represent them. Ah just tell them they should go and see thur teacher.”

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