Skintish Independence: Let’s keep the English oot

Border controls have been mooted in order to stop hordes of basturt English foreigners from taking our women and University places. AhDinnaeKen followed External Affairs Minster Humza Yumza on his recent visit to Qatar – the cradle of democracy (cough):

“The real struggle for us is for the citizen to cease to be the property of the state.” ― Adam Michnik.  Do you know who your child's Named Person is yet.

“The real struggle for us is for the citizen to cease to be the property of the state.” ― Adam Michnik. Do you know who your child’s Named Person is yet?

By Jock McAverage-Parka

SKINTLAND WILL have to set up strict border controls in order to hold back hordes of basturt English foreigners seeking free University tuition, according to a Skintish minster.

Kiddy-on External Affairs Minster, Humza Yumza, consulted Qatarian elite officials recently on best practice to deal with such a potential situation.

It is believed he was told to adopt the Qatarians standard policy in such circumstances – lock them up at the border, torture them for a bit and keep them in solitary confinement with no visiting rights.

In a speech to the Qatarian elite, Mr Yumza said: “In Skintland we need to do more to increase isolation in our higher education sphere.

“We need to learn to do more to increase surveillance, especially of young people, their politics and their parents bad non-SNP voting habits.

“We have already started this with our Wee Blether anti-human rights ‘Named Person’ plan.

“It won’t be long before Anti-Scotsfinder General Joan McCarthyalpine will be able to root oot the bad thistles in our society just as the Qatarians have done with their so called ‘human rights’ activists.

Qatarian elite officials were so impressed by Mr Yumza’a proposals they have decided to adopt the ‘Named Person’ scheme.

Mr Yumza was so pleased with the warm Qatarian elite reception he gushed: “We do things differently here you know.”

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