Exclusive: Skintland to legally leave itself open to English invasion

Blimey! The Scottish Sunday Sun publishes a Neverendum game changing story and nobody appears to care, because we’ve heard it all before.

“The truth may not set you free, but used carefully, it can confuse the hell out of your enemies.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton. The Scots, enemies of politicians everywhere in the UK.

“The truth may not set you free, but used carefully, it can confuse the hell out of your enemies.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton. The Scots, enemies of politicians everywhere in the UK.

By Andy Nickitoll

SKINTLAND CAN legally say to England, get it up ye’s, ye’s ur gettin’ hee haw when we walk oot the Union door, according to a top constitutional expert.

Lawyer Dr Matt Gerritriteupye says the previously extinguished non-nation could begin its separate insular life by provoking the basturt English into a war footing.

And the world renowned agent provocateur believes his expert speculation, based on exhaustive SNP, Twitter, Facebook and Google studies, could give renewed hope to Nationalist sadsacks willing to believe in modern day tooth fairy tales as ‘game changers’.

He said: “Just imagine the insult and basturt English nationalistic fury this would provoke. It would make the 3-2 Scotland v England fitba result in 1967 look like a gemme o’ keepy uppy.

“Of course, I am just a casual shit stirrer and browbeaten SNP serf who loves to provoke strife and emnity where previously there was none.”

Dr Gerritriteupye’s desperate findings are published in a neutral report entitled, “Ha Ha English Basturts Ye’s ur gettin’ F**k all”.

The veracity of the alleged report has still to be tested in every day non-Nationalist real reality.

More barefaced lying
Sun King Salmond is already on record misquoting the ‘consitutional expert’ leaving sceptical and realistic Skints unconvinced by this most recent allegedly game changing assertion.

In October 2011, Skintland’s most formidable barefaced liar apologised to the plasticine parliament for trying to sell them a devo-max pup based on statements the professor never actually made.

Willie Wont-he, the Lib-Bent leader said at the time: “The Firstminster delivered a fabricated endorsement.

“He quoted a letter which turns out not to have been written by the professor, but by the Firstminster’s special adviser.

“This is a blatant attempt to nobble an academic, doctor the evidence, pull the wool over the eyes of the people of Scotland.”

Cringing materialistic inferiorist Longshanker added: “What this Sunday Sun report highlights is that the SNP are just as good at placing lying and devious scaremongering stories as the other lot.

“How long would it be till we got invaded if the Nationalists seriously considered this as an option?

“Ho hum. Next!”

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4 Comments

Filed under Media, Newspeak, Referendum

4 responses to “Exclusive: Skintland to legally leave itself open to English invasion

  1. allanwils

    ‘Expert’ ?? Dr Matt Qvortrup, it’s been quite a few years since He was working in any meaningful Government/NGO capacity

  2. Hermione

    Never trust anyone whose name sounds like a character from Star Trek.

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