Newsnat and Wangs Over Skintland: Have I Got News For You!

Most CyberNationalist blogger ‘journalism’ is populated by people who can’t write, citing people who can’t persuade, to people who can’t think. Or something like that. AhDinnaeKen investigates the paucity of actual ahem, ‘professional journalism’, involved in the allegedly popular, polarising, CyberNationalist sites; NewsnatSkintland and Wangs Over Skintland.

What was it that Ms Calman was claiming again?

What was it that Ms Calman was claiming again?

By Longshanker

IT’S NO secret both NewsnatSkintland and Wangs Over Skintland seriously consider themselves able to offer a viable alternative to mainstream journalism in Scotland.

Don’t laugh – too hard. Or, too much.

And, it’s no secret that AhDinnaeKen finds such self important and bombastic pretension, unbelievably hilarious.

Consider the recent Susan Kalmen virtual non-story created by the Hootsman. It’s running like an energiser bunny at present i.e. it just keeps going on and on and on…

The whole stooshie is based on a few misplaced tweets and a navel gazing woe-is-me blog authored by the alleged comedienne, Susan Kalmen, following some innocuous, allegedly comic, radio comments on the absurdity of the current Indy debate.

The Bitter Together Unionist establishment backed Hootsman ran with the headline “Susan Kalmen: Death threats for independence satire”, despite Kalmen never having claimed to have received death threats (real or otherwise) from anyone.

This fact appears to have completely bypassed G.A. Ponseybody, the author of a clunkily repetitive NewsnatSkintland monologue on the Hootsman’s virtual non-story.

The NewsnatSkintland report is well worth a look – for comedy value if nothing else.

If you ever take a media course or study the media, or decide to analyse the structure, narrative, and presentation of news stories, refer to this story of Ponseybody’s and file it under the ‘how not to do it’ file.

Ponseybody must have been drunk or in an uncontrollable apoplectic rage or suffered something which affected his judgement, to have produced such a second rate cistern of dribbling pish like this excuse for a story.

In the first paragraph, Ponseybody states that Kalmen “claimed to have been the victim of death threats”.

In the second paragraph, Ponseybody reminds us that Kalmen is at the centre of a row “after claiming to have been the victim of death threats”.

The third par, mentions the “claims” and then claims itself that Kalmen provided the quotes to a “pro-Union newspaper”. Newsnat’s claim is completely unsubstantiated throughout the proceedings.

By the fourth par, our erstwhile paladin of free and righteous journalism deigns to remind us again – in case we had forgotten from the third par – that there has been a “death threat claim”.

Paragraph five, second sentence, takes a great big club and smashes us over the head, right between the eyes, by yet again reminding us that Kalmen “has also claimed death threats were made”.

By the sixth paragraph, after suffering a pulmonary heart attack and being subjected to life saving CPR by some passing paramedics on their lunch break, Ponseybody further informs us that the Scotsman had “also claimed the comedienne had suffered “death threats””.

So, just in case you’re wondering, NewsnatSkintland is claiming that Susan Kalmen claimed that she had received death threats.

And, just in case you hold even a smidgeon of a doubt what this story is claiming, there is also a handy picture prominently captioned which, if you haven’t quite cottoned on yet, informs you that “Ms Calman has said she received death threats.”

Stop the bloody bus I want a wee wee. And a stiff non-minimum priced drink would go down well too after having to endure such blatantly amateur and tediously repetitive pish.

Ponseybody clearly isn’t one to let basic evidence get in the way of a chip on shooder grievance story. Especially if said grievance highlights, in his mind at least, the traitorous quisling degeneracy of the mainstream media.

The irony of the NewsnatSkintland story is, of course, that Ponseybody is perpetuating the same misleading assertion of the Hootsman, namely, that Ms Kalmen claimed to have received said death threats.

She did no such thing.

Other than the misconstrued and ‘dodgy’ headline, the original Hootsman story lifts its quotes attributed to Ms Kalmen directly from Ms Kalmen’s blog and at no time, whatsoever, makes the claim that the alleged comedienne received death threats.

The offending misunderstood quote is as follows:

“If we could stop the random name-calling, the swearing, the death threats (real or otherwise) then perhaps we could get somewhere.”.

Doh! Ponseybody, hide your head in shame you dolt.

Ahem, ‘professional journalism’ and ‘media monitor’ alert!
The Hootsman story also alludes to abusive online comments aimed at the alleged comedienne, following her cybernat offending Radio 4 ‘News Quiz’ broadcast, in which she had the temerity to lampoon the Indy debate.

Coincidentally, around the time of Kalmen’s infamous Radio 4 broadcast, a coterie of cybernats were in full chip on shooder, self inflicted, Unionist conspiracy, moral superiority, grievance mode, over at Wangs Over Skintland’s ‘media monitoring’ site.

If you’re not familiar with what happens in such CyberNationalist impregnated digital fortresses of truth, righteousness and sanctimony, it’s kind of like a love-in without the love.

Instead, the commenters, or Wangers as they are better known, coalesce around the Reverend ‘anointed one’ Campbell by sharing and articulating their displeasures and hurt at the anti-Scottish forces of ‘self-deprecation’ and ‘self loathing’ and ‘self humiliation’, currently sullying the purity, sanctity and reputation of their fatherland or Salmondland or whatever name they want to call the future independent political landscape of Skintland.

Wangs Over Skintland’s Rev Stuart Campbell was conducting the choir of hurt and betrayal to a crescendo of impassioned indignation over the alleged affront to our great wee Nation by those arrogant English basturts at Have I Got News For You (HIGNFY).

It was agreed by osmosis and empirical factual observation that HIGNFY was acting like a recruitment beacon for independence and had been moved from the ‘Pish list’ to the category of ‘Twat TV’.

And then there were the tirades against Kalmen herself. Second to mention her was a Wanger calling themselves Tiris. An individual who is associated with the Mugs Republic blog, who said: “Susan Kalmen, a Scottish comedienne, milked the English audience for laughs at her own country’s expense and lied about the currency issue.”

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the vilest of them all?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the vilest possible person of them all?

Well, fire up the pitch, pull out the hoods and prepare for a lynching boys. How daur she! In an Independent Skintland this kind of affrontery will be legislated for and dealt with.

Next up was Maid Marian whose contribution nails the source of the abusive mystery site being alluded to from the moment the non-story broke. She said: “I have just heard Saturday’s repeat of The News Quiz and couldn’t believe my ears when Susan Calman started her mocking rant.”

The key connector here is the phrase “mocking rant”. It’s directly quoted in a follow up Hootsman story headlined “Fiona Herslop tolerance call after Susan Kalmen abuse”.

Work your way backward to the original story and you’ll find all the bilious quotes aimed at Ms Kalmen are sourced from Wangs Over Skintland.

The following sentence is from the original Hootsman story: “Other web users accused Ms Kalmen of “lying” over the currency issue, “talking down” Scotland, making “insulting” comments, “hating her country” and “self-loathing”.”

Each and every quote attributed by the Hootsman to ‘web users’ can be sourced back to Wangs Over Skintland’s comment thread.

Hilariously, even now, after days of painstaking investigative journalism on Google and Twitter by Ultimate Wanger, Rev Stu, he still hasn’t had the awareness or guile to realise that his site is the source of the hate.

Even as late as this evening 5th May he frothed in a piece entitled ‘Let’s Play Pretend’:

“A second-rate comedian allegedly taking a few brickbats from some anonymous commenters, with no evidence to prove it even happened at all, got blanket media coverage last week (with the Herald claiming it was proof of, and we quote, “SNP intolerance”, despite nobody knowing who any of the alleged abusers were, let alone whether they had any connection to the SNP).”

For this situation we* take our metaphorical hat off to the guys at the Hootsman. This is the equivalent of them having bowled the Rev a double googly. How they must have roared with laughter to see Rev Stu, the ‘watcher of the watchmen’ floundering on Twitter and Wangs Over Skintland like a spit roasted half-wit desperately in search of evidence which was right under his nose on his metaphorical doorstep – his own site.

Now that’s what I call ahem, ‘professional journalism’.


Newsnetscotland on Susan Calman

Scotsman on Calman Death threats

Fiona Hyslop tolerance call after Susan Calman abuse


Filed under Lies, Media, Morality, Wangs Watch

10 responses to “Newsnat and Wangs Over Skintland: Have I Got News For You!

  1. Hermione

    Oh good, I thought I was the only one who’d noticed that the acolytes of the “Rev” were actually the source of all the Hootsmon quotes.

    The site is pure comedy gold. He keeps proudly telling the world how many people visit it; thing is, how many of them are simply looking to have a laugh?

    And then there’s the strange insistence on using the “Rev” title but refusing to specify who gave him it. Accuses questioners of being sectarian. Frankly I don’t care if he is left- or right-footed and think he is neither; the only churches who would ordain him would be the followers of either Dr Moon or L Ron Hubbard

    And then there is the comedy of all his Wangfriends putting up £30k to pay him to, er, do something he was doing anyway. I’d like to meet these people, I have both a bridge in Brooklyn and some choice Florida real estate for sale.

    • Thankyou Hermione

      Accuses questioners of being sectarian.

      Be thankful that’s all he falsely accused you of. He’s got an ill begotten and tediously malicious track record of similar and worse vexatious accusations.

      He claimed that one of AhDinnaeKen’s ‘stringers’ was you – hilariously.

      Kudos for your takedown on the Embassies and Consulates post some time ago – most amusing. I paid tribute to you here.

      The page views and visitors criteria is curious given the structure of the site. Given his record of Unfair Play journalism, I wouldn’t believe him if he told me grass was green and water was wet.

      AhDinnaeKen now consists of over 400 posts. Click on the Wangs Watch category to the right if you want to read any more of my scribblings regarding the ‘Tribune of Scottish Journalism’.


  2. Excellent!

    Indeed I had a look back at the Newsnet article, and including the headline and photo caption it uses the phrase “death threats” a DOZEN times in the first HALF of the article.

    For what it’s worth I suspect that – and assuming the Scotsman misrepresented Susan Calman on the death threats per se – when it grew arms and legs she got cold feet and concluded that she was being used as a political fitba by both sides, and thus tried to pull the plug on the whole thing, but unfortunately it all went a bit Streisland effect-ish. Indeed, to be fair to Rev Stu et al, it does all make her look a bit thin-skinned in view of her background and history etc, and to that extent there has to be some rationale other than the ‘official’ one she posits. Perhaps she felt that because the Scotsman got it wrong she couldn’t substantiate its claims, and rather than take it on it was best just to disappear.

    As a corollary, the likes of Newsnet know that substantiation of the death threats claim is unlikely to be forthcoming, hence they’re milking it for all it’s worth, and hoping it detracts attention from the lower-level abuse per se.

    And with regard to the latter, part of the problem is self-evidently that the likes of the denizens of the Rev’s little cyber gang hut don’t view terms like “cringing Jock” and claiming that someone hates their country as abuse at all. For example, on yesterday’s Sunday Politics Scotland the Scotsman’s Peter Macmahon said that the cybernats were turning on the SNP’s Andrew Wilson because he’d praised Dougie Alexander in his SoS column. Yet one of the Wings rabble said that he’d looked on the thread and there was nothing like that at all. So I had a look myself and indeed one contributor had alluded that Wilson needed ‘locking up in a padded cell’. But of course they just don’t ‘get’ that in the real world and in mainstream politics, rather than the hermetically-sealed discourse, group think and confirmation bias etc etc of Wings and NNS, that sort of thing just isn’t acceptable.

    Incidentally, and with some irony in view of your piece, did you see the Rev’s critique of Newsnet last week, posted by him on Newsnet but which they then deleted? Of course, as per usual there’s a huge degree of irony in what he says, but an insightful critique nonetheless:

    NNS: “Sadly, despite seeking clarification months ago from the BBC, we remain mystified as to their criteria for determining what media outlets are deemed allowable in the broadcaster’s regular promotion of other news vendors – both in their online and broadcast services.”

    Rev Stu: Guys, I hate to be the one who breaks this to you, but nobody’s fooled. You’re a partisan site like the rest of us, not a “news vendor”.

    The Scotsman et al might have a clear pro-Union agenda, but they conceal it with at least a figleaf of balance. The Herald employs Ian Bell, Harry Reid and Iain Macwhirter as regular columnists. The Record employs Joan McAlpine in the same capacity. The Scotsman often features George Kerevan, Ewan Crawford and numerous other pro-indy voices on a more intermittent basis.

    Where are your pro-Union articles? Where’s even the PRETENCE of balance? It’s non-existent. You write in an extraordinarily partisan manner, which is fine – I do too – but you appear to be trying to suggest you’re not, which is patently ridiculous.

    The tone of many of your pieces is extremely and openly hostile to the other side in a way that The Scotsman would never countenance. Your headlines in particular are often so transparently biased that they anger a lot of people on the nationalist side – who feel their intelligence is being insulted – let alone those in favour of the Union.

    And finally, your censorship of comments far exceeds that of most of the Scottish mainstream media, which is remarkably liberal in that regard. (Except the Herald.) What sort of example is that to be setting of a better Scotland?

    (Incredibly, I was even told I couldn’t post this comment because I’d “recently” added the previous one, and was told to “try again later” – though not how MUCH later – and when it was finally allowed I was told it was too long even though the box said I had 21 characters left and it was barely three sentences anyway. Even the Herald or Labour Hame are less restrictive.)

    You’ve done amazingly well to garner 100,000 readers despite such stupendous user-hostility, and I congratulate you sincerely on the feat, but popularity alone doesn’t make you a “news vendor” or Jeremy Clarkson would be one.

    (Quite apart from anything else, no remotely respectable news provider would STILL not have something as basic and fundamental as a Search function after all this time. It’s scarcely believable on any level, and not at all believable if you expect to be taken seriously as a news source.)

    Although you refuse to mobilise the power of your readership for the benefit of the rest of the online Yes movement, for reasons I can’t begin to understand in the context of achieving the goal of independence, the fact is that you’re NOT any different to blogs just because you adopt the stylings of a newspaper and have more frequent updates.

    You do what you do well, and your work is valuable and appreciated. But take it as the frank and candid advice you’d get from a true friend, because that’s what it is – don’t hold your breath expecting anyone, and especially not the BBC, to ever see you as something you’re absolutely and plainly not.

    • Thankyou Stuart

      AhDinnaeKen’s surrogate ‘stringer’ is a perceptive chap when it comes to recommending stories to follow up. 🙂

      Yes. Calman does come across as a genuinely likeable and nice person, but you need a thicker skin than she has displayed recently for comedy.

      Mind you, I managed to get blocked by Frankie Boyle on Twitter some time ago when I cracked a joke about his tax return in his pocket. So even the thick skinned ones cannae take it at times captain.

      I very rarely look at Newsnat. It’s just too embarrasingly poorly written, most of the time, never mind the half-witted partisanship correctly alluded to by the Rev.

      the Rev’s little cyber gang

      Let’s give them their proper name. They’re Wangers.

      …there’s a huge degree of irony in what he says, but an insightful critique nonetheless:

      Indeed. There is genuine insight in some of what he has to say at times and he’s certainly got Newsnat’s number, but as you allude to – how ironic in terms of himself. Still, the Wangers love it, if no one else, I suppose.

      As for the slagging off of Newsnat. Good. The Wangers remind me of a sect of historical ‘killing times’ covenanters ever willing to fight amongst themselves to prove who is the most righteous in the eyes of their humourless Presbyterian god. (substitute metaphors, analogies as you see fit).

      Roll on September 19.


  3. Hi Longshanker

    Rather that Wings over Scotland, he would be better to have the title Wings over Bath.

    He pops by my blog, and spends some time, possibly looking for material to do a hatchet job on me for a Wings of Scotland special.

    Have you sold that bridge in Brooklyn yet?


    • Hey George

      “Rather that Wings over Scotland, he would be better to have the title Wings over Bath.”

      I prefer Wangs Over The Cupboard Under The Stairs.


  4. Patriot

    Hi Longshanker, I am looking for the identity of mr Ponsonby. Any clues?

    Mail me.

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