Skintland’s pension pots are already at risk and independence may add to that risk according to reports from the Unionist biased mainstream media. AhDinnaeKen reports.
By Robin Bastads
DUAL PENSION holder and Firstminster, Baron Salmond, has moved to assure the electorate that his Westminster, Whollyrude and ‘special’ Firstminster pensions will be safe should Skintland gain independence.
Nationalists and Salmond cult of personality believers were worried over reports that Skintland’s growing pension deficit would have to be corrected immediately should the country vote for independence.
And they believed that it might directly affect the Firstminster’s MP pension, MSP pension and ex-Firstminster ‘special’ pension worth more than £100,000 per year.
Pensions are safe
At the local food bank in Banff, one worried disabled pensioner about to be evicted from her under populated flat, Wee Jeannie, said: “I would feel terrible if the Firstminsters triple pensions were to be whammied by this terrible news.
“He does such a good job lying for his country, it would be a shame if he wasn’t properly rewarded for that.
“I’m sure I could find a few bawbees for him if I sold my husband’s medals and my wedding ring.”
But, according to the Firstminster, Wee Jeannie’s wedding ring is safe, though he could not vouch for her hubby’s medals.
He said: “Gordon Brown and David Cameron gave up their ‘special’ Prime Minister pensions to make me look bad.
“Well ah’m fur nane o’ it. I don’t care about looking bad. Checkout my performance at Leveson and Firstminster’s Questions every week.”
According to the Skintsman paper: “accounts disclosed that the most senior SNP politicians have built up pensions worth £493,000 since they came to power six years ago.
“Those pension arrangements do not include those for Alex Salmond, who receives a special pension worth half his salary when he steps down.”
Freeloading, cash-in, taxpayer robbing bastard spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy, said: “Ye see, it disnae really matter whether we get independence or no, everybody in the Skintish cabinet is sorted.
“So who cares really?”