Exclusive: The Dangerous Liaisons of Moan McVulpine exposed

AhDinnaeKen’s regular Daily Ranger columnist Moan McVulpine has been accused of anonymous smearing of opponents while engaging in a torrid and adulterous affair with a married man. What’s more, she also stands accused of using her previous position in The Sunday Whines newspaper to defend him. Ooer missus. Let she who casts the first stone dig two graves. Or something.

Sage advice. And for free too.

Sage advice. And for free too. Better start digging.

By Hardtae Beleevit

MOAN MCVULPINE was yesterday accused of engaging in anyonymous smearing of political opponents while acting in cahoots with her adulterous lover.

The Wee White Whine is believed to have con-cockted the insidious plan in a Universally Cheesey move in 2009 with her new regular screw Mark MacHardon.

According to a source close to MacHardon  all it took was a few white whines (Pinot Grigio) and McVulpine made her seductively smeary move – no parliamentary questions asked.

Using MacHardon’s blog and his anonymous pseudonym Montawho Hardon, McVulpine is alleged to have assisted in libellous smears of political opponents private tiddlywank lives.

MacHardon was outed in late 2009 as the Cheesey smear merchant and had his identity exposed, causing acute embarrassment to the Firstminster.

Despite being cast adrift like a jobby in a swimming pool by boss Mike Bernhard Rust-ell, MacHardon continued to receive a ‘robust’ defence through McVulpine’s individual blog, Don’t Stop Lassie Don’t Stop and her then newspaper The Sunday Whines.

The accusation places McVulpine – plasticine parliamentary sex aide dangerous liaisons officer to the Firstminster – at the heart of the scandal.

Opponents interpret McVulpine’s actions as a sign of internal ‘tension’ in the party between the smeary Rustlers and the smearing Salmondos.

McVulpine described MacHardon as a “highly illiterate, unintelligent and ohh so, so, so convivial man” in her blog Dont Stop Lassie Don’t Stop.

She is also alleged to have egged MacHardon on to try blackmailing Rust-ell into finding him another job after his public exposure.

Moan McVulpine is 59 and wouldn’t know what a speed limit sign was if it slapped her in Tricky Dicky Salmond’s face.

She is expected to be named at a divorce court somewhere near Newton Stewart sometime soon, somehow.

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