Majority of Scots are crazy – Sturgeon

AS everyone in Scotland now knows, there are actually two governments in Scotland: the public one where we are an oil rich, rhetoric rich, pantsonfire rich country and a private one where we need to cull pensioners to balance the books and can’t rely on oil to pay our debts. Sometimes the veil slips between the two. As witnessed last night on Better Together’s propaganda programme, Newsnicht, Tonyblair Jenkins of the Och Aye campaign and Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon of the Nationalist Socialists let the veil drop that wee bit too far. AhDinnaeKen investigates.

"The insular arrogance of the Nationalist character is a commonplace joke." -Goldwin Smith. Weel din Sturgeon sark. We're aw laffin noo.

“The insular arrogance of the Nationalist character is a commonplace joke.” –
Goldwin Smith. Weel din Sturgeon sark. We’re aw laffin noo.

By Trufus Ootthare

THE MAJORITY of Scots living in Scotland are “crazy” it was revealed last night by Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.

Speaking to Gordon Pistoffina Brewery in a Newsnicht interview the Deputy Miss Leader let slip what the Nationalists really think of the Scots.

She said: “The argument about independence is about taking our own future into our own hands.

“If you were having this debate in any other country in the world, they would think you were CRAZY, because it’s the independence that other countries take for granted.”

Ditherers, don’t knowers and plain anti-independinistas all fall under the same label according to Miss Leader Sturgeon.

Gobsmacked by the statement, Pistoffina Brewery asked her to reflect on what she was saying.

He said: “Think about the implications of what you’re saying. You’ve just said that the majority of Scots are CRAZY!”

Miss Leader Sturgeon replied: “In terms of the debate you’re bloody too right. How dare those cringing spineless ungodly anti-Scots wurms defy us.

“Don’t they realise that we have destiny, momentum, righteousness, inclusiveness, progressiveness and the Ministerial Code on our side.

“The switherers and blasphemers will go to Tory Tory hell for this! Or London as we like to call it.”

In a separate panel interview, ex-BBC Tristram Tonyblair Jenkins of the Och Aye No the Noo campaign, let slip the contempt the Och Ayers have for Scotland’s plasticine parliament.

Replying to a Brewery question on what would be a convincing argument to persuade Scots to vote Och Aye he said:

“The UK is on a direction of travel that most Scots don’t want to follow. Look at Devolution – manufactured in London endured in Scotland.”

At this statement Brewery nearly pished hissel laughing. A small roar of laughter was heard rippling down Scotland from Pacific Quay to Berwick and back up again to John o’ Groats.

Scotland’s Day of Dustbinry will take place on 18th September 2014.

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Filed under Newspeak, Referendum

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