Scottish Sun Says Salmond will surrender

Scottish Scum comes out all guns blazing issuing its strongest condemnation yet of Murdoch’s Bitch Salmond’s latest opportunistic move.

“A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it.”― J.R.R. Tolkien

“A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

By Salmy Naebaws

SALMOND’S INDY strategy will be “shackled” by strict punishing headlines in the Scum should he choose to implement press regulation in Skintland, according to the Scum.

The “draconian” warning has been issued by a ‘Scum Says’ editorial which implies that Salmond’s MacLeveson report is an “opportunistic” step too far.

Murdoch’s Bitch Salmond is expected, like his supine Tory Tory twin Bullingdon Dave, to drop the MacLeveson recommendations like a stone.

Insiders have said that ‘instinctively’ Salmond believes in ‘controlling’ information as witnessed by his attempts to gag the Freedom of Information commissioner: but the MacLeveson report is seen as a step too far – even for Salmond.

“Murdoch’s Bitch needs the backing of Murdoch’s papers,” said media strategist Kevin Bagapringles.

“We need the backing of a paper like the Scum.

“Did it not help drive the agenda for the War in Iraq? Did it not help paint the miners as the Enemy Within? Did it not help break the heads of the printers at Wapping with Thatcher’s full backing? And did it not help portray Liverpool fans as thieving urinating ghouls on the bodies of their dead fellow fans?

“We need this fine upstanding newspaper supporting the SNP’s Independence case. Only with its ‘progressive, inclusive and civic outlook’ can we convince Scotland’s people that Salmond deserves Independence.”

The MacLeveson report calls not only for the gagging of the press, but also for the censoring of Twitter and the Blogosphere.

Despite his desire for such an outcome, Salmond’s lack of balls is expected to result in him cravenly kicking the MacLeveson’s report into the long grass of scrutiny and further recommendation.

An opportunistic turncoat traitor for the Labouring party said: “We already know that Murdoch’s Bitch husnae got one ball, this climbdown will reinforce the implications of that knowledge.”



Filed under Media, Morality, Newspeak

2 responses to “Scottish Sun Says Salmond will surrender

  1. daftquine

    He and his’ll be wrestling with this all weekend! Wouldn’t be so bad if his followers hadn’t come out all triumphant and gloating at WM’s difficulties with this issue…
    And judging by the comments they clearly saw this as a chance to censure the ‘biased’ mainstream media….

    • Indeed Annie.

      I can’t imagine Salmond would daur go ahead with this. The Yes side couldn’t survive the sustained press onslaught up until the ‘Day of Destiny.


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