With assertions and counter assertions leaking into frenzy mode following the exposure of the Nationalist’s private/public assertion ‘deficit’, AhDinnaeKen casts a sceptical eye and investigates further:
By Widye Beleevit
NATIONALIST ASSERTIONS have started 2013 in “growth mode” and are avoiding a triple-dip recession despite constant exposure under basic scrutiny.
The Bank of Assertion’s latest purchasing index sector hubris (PISH) suggested the Nationalist sector’s assertion rate continued to improve in February thanks to Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.
It said SNP PISH saw solid growth (sic) in both economic assertions and social assertions, contributing exponentially to general apathy within the Scots electorate.
In February/March Nationalist PISH was the highest it has been for the past eight months.
The Scottish government described the further expansion of Scotland’s PISH sector as “very welcome”.
PISH is based on data gleaned from assertions made by the likes of Salmond, Sturgeon, MacNaeskill, McAlpine and Darling.
It was found that the Nationalists were running a PISH surplus when directly compared to their political opponents.
Tricky Dicky Salmond, chief assertion and barefaced lie manufacturer at the Scottish Plasticine Parliament, said: “February’s PISH rose to an eight month high, signalling the belief that it is Salmond’s Nationalists vs Scotland’s electorate rather than Salmond’s Nationalists vs ‘Bitter Together’.
“Our assertion manufacturing recorded a record increase in February, yet it still appears nobody but the committed believe us.
“These results provide further evidence that the Scottish electorate is increasingly resistant to Nationalist PISH withoot ‘Bitter Together’s’ Moveover Darling huvin tae dae too much.