Diageo’s Water of life: The Wee SNP empire strikes back

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon added the finishing touches to the Water Resources (Scotland) Bill last week. AhDinnaeKen’s wee neddy bawbag correspondent has a rethink on SNP political manoeuvre.

 Water Abstraction

By Buckfast Commando

HAW MAN! Ye ken ah’m the furst tae stick the bit in when it comes tae they freeloadin’ snake oil hucksters at the plasticine parliament man.

But this week, surprisingly, especially tae me, ah’ll tak mah hat aff tae Auld Nick Sturgeon and Piggy Eyed Patsy Alex Kneel.

They’ve finally fun’ a way tae stick wan ower Dirageo and thur young team.

And the bully boy Scottish heritage stealers don’t like it at aw. No wan bit man.

Haw Haw!

Ah hope this bill brings in some money fur Skintland and persuades the SNP tae drap thur stupit Jakey Apartheid Tax – it’s gawin naewhur but the coort onyway man.

Onyhoo! In case ye’re wunnerin whit ah’m gaun oan aboot: the Water Resources (Scotland) Bill got passed last week.

It’s anither instance of SNP centralisation of power over Scottish resources, which is to be expected from Tartan Tory types.

But, the interestin’ pairt is covered by Section 2.

Dirageo wurnae consulted at aw oan this pairt o’ the bill – despite it being of crucial importance tae thur industry and production process.

Keen readers of AhDinnaeKen may have spotted that regular correspondent Moan McVulpine picked up on this in January.

Joan McAlpine, the Anti-Scotsfinder General, signalled to Dirageo in the Daily Ranger that they should drap thur coort case against the SNP government or they could expect a water tax.

Interestin’ times indeed man!

Expect to see sum jiggery pokery shenanigans gaun oan ower the next few weeks and months.

Haw Haw! See’s ye doon the park man – ah’ve goat an exotic cocktail of Calico Jack, Frosty Jack and Buckfast to try oot – Minimum Price free ya dancer.

So, as ah like to say tae mah pals – get mad wi’ it ya c***s.

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