SNP assertion discards are one of the country’s most controversial subjects. AhDinnaeKen investigates.
By Wunthat Gottaweigh
A DEAL has been struck to end the controversial SNP practice of discarding unwanted assertions into the political backwater.
Scottish minsters have negotiated a compromise agreement which will come into force over a number of years, beginning post Neverendum.
Scotland’s Pantsonfire Minster Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon said it would bring to an end a 40 year scandal.
“No longer will we dump millions of tonnes of pish overboard,” Miss Leader Sturgeon said.
She said this was a waste of valuable barefaced lieing resource, “to the detriment of our party and our policies”.
It is a victory for campaigners who have demanded the end of a policy, in terms of the debate, which has brought the SNP into disrepute.
The UN says Scotland’s plasticine parliament has the world’s worst record of blurting out substanceless assertions.
Almost three quarters of all assertions go over people’s heads as unbelievable because they have no credibility or substance.
The decision reached early on Wednesday morning was driven by ‘scunnered’ sovereign Scots sick to the teeth of listening to chip on shooder pish regularly blamed on Westminster.
The Scottish plasticine parliament has been working to minimise assertion discards but are believed to be struggling due to the over reliance of SNP policy makers on fantasy and obfuscation.
Benthopelagic slippery oily spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “When you get caught out too many times, you have to take stock.
“The 2011 victory went to our heids. It seems we fell for our own bait, hook line and sinker.”