Westminster caves into SNP censorship

The mother of all parliaments finally surrenders to the constant whinging, moaning and sniping from Westminster’s dreichest most humourless party, the SNP.

"The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship." - George Bernard Shaw. Hmm! Seems the Nationalists have failed at the first condition then. Ho hum!

“The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.” – George Bernard Shaw. Hmm! Seems the Nationalists have failed at the first condition then. Ho hum!

By Ahmsane Nuffin

WESTMINSTER SCRIBES are set to ban the use of words that the Scottish Nationalist Party doesn’t like.

It follows a highly successful censorship campaign by Private Fraser Wishart, a humourless SNP MP, intended to close down debate and ‘doom‘ everyone to ffffrrrreeeeddddoooommmm™ Nationalist style.

The cave-in by the scribes follows a campaign of relentless SNP pressure to censor words they deem ‘pejorative’ to their cause.

Critics say the spineless climb-down by Westminster’s parliamentary authorities will only encourage the SNP to ask for more.

SNP press gang baron, Kevin Bagapringles, is allegedly drawing up a hit list with other SNP censors in order to ‘progress’ the debate.

Wishart cited a precedent set by Mussolini in 1929 in which the use of certain language was banned in Fascist Italy.

Pleased at his achievement, Wishart told AhDinnaeKen: “Mussolini himself would be proud of what I’ve done today.

“I can’t wait till we separate from the UK and form a ‘government’ in the Big Man’s image.

“It’s about time the pejorative word ‘democracy‘ was banned in Westminster. It’s certainly been banned in the Scottish Plasticine Parliament since 2011.”

Bagapringles hit list of offensive pejorative words deemed unfit  for ‘progressive inclusive’ debate includes; isolation, segregation, divorce, split, division, apartheid, fracture, dislocation, insulation, seclusion, alone, reality, Europe, Sterling, NATO, denial, fantasy, lie, Cybernat and Nationalism.

Phrases such as Freedom of Information, unicameral dictatorship, legal advice and wee pretendy parliament are also believed to be on the hit list.

COMEDY RELIEF

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