ITV chiefs’ alleged snub to Southern Scots is a blessing in disguise

Television viewers in the south hear next to nothing about the Scottish parliament or their local council areas. Lucky ba****ds!

Moan McVulpine - Soothing the Firstminster's flaws, one ginger kiss at a time

By Moan McVulpineCultivating that droopy shooder – one chip at a time

IMAGINE NO parochial news aboot the Big Parish Cooncil in Whollyrude.

Wid the guid folk o’ Glesca be reassured all was well because they would get one or two reports and a few minutes o’ coverage each day?

Glesca is less than an hour from Edinborrow. Thank god some say. Could it no be mair ithers wish.

Yet this is the very plurality and divergence that SNP centrists want to stamp oot in a sinister take on ‘universalism’.

Did ye ken that TV viewers fae Ayr tae Glesca huv to pit up wi’ listenin’ tae Whollyrude pish because STV have deemed that it is important. FFS!

Who dae STV wonks think they ur? BBC Tristrams? If ah want tae be bored s**tless by windbag part time overpaid Scottish politicians then ah’ll watch Newsnicht.

See that Scotsnicht music, is it no the dreichist skirl this side o’ a Sun King Salmond alleged parliamentary answer tae an alleged parliamentary question?

It reminds me o’ dreich Sunday nichts when yer maw did the ironin’ while ye dreaded huvin tae go tae the schill the next day.

But onyway. In keepin’ wi’ their ‘universality’ mantra, Joan McCarthyalpine is gaun tae see tae it that the Borders and Dumfries and Galloway get inflicted wi’ Scotsnicht an’ aw. They’re currently denied that scintillating pleasure.

Whit a Ginger bawbag eh? Imagine bein’ that rotten tae the very folk who didnae even directly elect ye.

Whit did the guid folk o’ Southern Skintland ever dae tae her tae deserve that or her?

Still. Ah suppose she hus tae luk as if she’s daein sumthin’ ither than gettin’ pished oan subsidised Pinot Grigio and ‘servicing’ the Firstminster.

If only she could gie this a miss in the same fashion she previously missed asking six parliamentary questions.

Mibbes she’s finding it hard tae cope on a paltry £53,000+ per annum plus her expenses and ither junkets.

Mibbes Scotsnicht should stert oan that scandal.

Ah’m no haudin mah braith mind!

COMEDY RELIEF

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Filed under Media, Moan McVulpine, Opinion

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