Exclusive: Salmond launches new Nationalist slogan

Support for Independence has dropped drastically since Sun King anti-Midas Salmond came to power in 2007. Nobody surprised as Dim Sillars suffers subdural haematoma.

"Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?" - Tom Cruise. There's no denying 2014's gonnae be awfy embarrassing for some people.

“Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren’t completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow’s embarrassment?” – Tom Cruise. There’s no denying 2014’s gonnae be awfy embarrassing for some people whose name ends in Salmond.

By Aunty Midas Tutch

GRADUALIST AND arch devolutionist Anti-Midas Touch Salmond has delivered yet again for his chosen devolved sovereign  people.

The grand strategist and architect of  ‘Devo-Max by stealth’ feels vindicated by the latest Scottish Social Attitudes Survey .

The survey found that since Salmond became Firstminster in 2007 interest in Independence has flopped.

Survey pollster, Professor John Poultice of Scratchcard University, concluded that the survey reinforced the Firstminsters previous Devo-Max credentials.

He said: “This is the most accurate poll ever polled in this country. It vindicates Salmond’s earlier attempt to place Devo-Max onto the referendum paper.”

Fundamentalists, existentialists, Braveheart Commandos, Polarised Militants, Nationalist Apologists and Ultimate Cybernats were all witnessed en masse sticking their fingers in their ears while simultaneously shouting “Edinborrow Agreement, Edinborrow Agreement.”.

Buoyed by the results of the poll, Firstminster Salmond said that he would use it as a platform to launch his latest filibuster slogan.

Following in the wake of blockbusters such as “Scotland free by 93”, “Turn the tide for Scotland” and “Independence within Europe”, the new slogan has been hailed as a careful and clever amalgam of previous no impact slogans.

Chosen to coincide with the results of the survey and carefully crafted by Salmond’s inner Star Chamber of sinister media ‘agents’, the slogan is expected to cover all eventualities post 2014’s Neverendum.

AhDinnaeKen is proud to reveal the new slogan:

INDEPENDENCE WITHIN THE UNITED KINGDOM“.

Hailed as a hard hitting winner encapsulating the intellectual might of Scotland’s most formidable politician, the slogan is expected to keep Scotland’s people laughing till Autumn 2014.

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Filed under CyberNats, Opinion, Referendum

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