Secret Salmond: I nearly killed my career over secrecy allegations

Tormented Rupert Murdoch host Tricky Dicky Salmond was driven to the brink of career suicide by ‘corporate bitch on heat’ claims that may yet destroy his dreich political career

I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark.” ― Audrey Niffenegger, I'll never understand why Salmond is so hell bent on keeping the sovereign people of Scotland in the dark.

“I never understood why Clark Kent was so hell bent on keeping Lois Lane in the dark.” ― Audrey Niffenegger.  “I’ll never understand why Salmond is so hell bent on keeping the sovereign people of Scotland in the dark.” – Longshanker

By Joan MacTitmuss

THE PRESENT Firstminster has opened his heart about life after being named as the ‘most deceptive’ Nationalist in Whollyrude.

He has not worked effectively since Pantsonfiregate and Accurateanswergate last year and feels he is still being damned for the crimes he clearly committed.

The ex-Banker-Westminster politician said: “Every day when you leave Mute Hoose, you are reminded of it – in terms of the debate. I haven’t been able to move on. It is like a lingering illness that can’t be cured.

“I was labelled a barefaced liar. I once contemplated being honest because I couldn’t see a way out. I thought that was one way I could stop the pain for Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon and militant windae brekker Dim Sillars.”

His career came crashing down in 2012 when he barefaced lied, in terms of the debate, on daytime television to arch-Unionist biased subjugating media oppressor Andrew Kneel.

To this date, he has not apologised for misleading the presenter, the media, fellow politicians or the sovereign people of Scotland.

Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon was dropped in the doo-doo and expected to simultaneously put out the fire while cleaning up the s**t.

More controversy was to follow in 2013. Information commissioner Rosemary Whitznew issued yet another Freedom of Information Ruling which exposed the depth of deception that Salmond and his fellow Minsters are prepared to stoop to.

Following a FOI request from a Mr David Ruler, Ms Whitznew found in Mr Ruler’s favour while providing comprehensive rebuttals to the Minsters obfuscations.

In her ruling she said: “the Commissioner finds that the Minsters failed to discharge fully their duty.”

Given that Ms Whitznew has been cited as a potential patsy to assist with Scottish government deceptions, the sovereign people of Scotland can make up their own mind about what this ruling tells them.

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