Most Whollyrude inmates ‘have poor political reading skills’

New information request reveals that Scottish Parliamentarians could all do with a copy of ‘Political Literacy for Dummies’ in their new year reading list.

Joseph Brodsky“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.” ― Joseph Brodsky.  Another is taking MSPs at face value.

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.” ― Joseph Brodsky. Another is taking MSPs at face value.

By Kanny Reid

ABOUT 80 per cent of MSPs are politically illiterate, according to figures accidentally released by a big boy who promptly ran away.

The information was obtained from a Scottish Public Opinion (SPO) request after an exposé by a Tory Tory.

The Tory Tories have called for all MSPs to be given something constructive to do beyond rubber stamping Commisar Salmond diktats and blocking impertinent democratic questions on Twitter.

The SPO said it had introduced a more robust method of measuring political literacy levels among MSPs.

The newly released figures also suggested that about seven-in-ten Nationalist politicians have problems with basic assertions – many have still to grasp that assertions need both substance and evidence to be credible.

It has been suggested that Nationalist MSPs might never grasp the concept of ‘scrutiny’.

A previous estimate made by the SPO in 2007 put political illiteracy levels at 50%.

The official response from the SPO to the Tory Tories said that: “approximately 81% of Whollyrude politicians were assessed as lacking functional political skills with at least one having no understanding of the meaning of ‘accurate’ answers whatsoever.”

Scottish Tory Tory leader Truth Davidson said: “These findings acutely expose what every layman in Scotland already knows, Scottish parliamentarians are politically illiterate numpties.

“That severely hampers their chances of every being taken seriously by anyone in the real world outside of Whollyrude ever.”

Ms Davidson added: “They are gaining nothing from pretending to know what they are doing when they could actually be learning to read the writing which has been on the Neverendum wall for some time now.”

The SPO stressed that despite a small flurry of hope and optimism in 1999, Scottish politicians have shown themselves to be, at their absolute best, no better than their crooked Westminster counterparts.

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Filed under Culture, Opinion, Referendum

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