Correction rules to be ‘corrected’ for SNP MSPs

Past five years of SNP record can now be officially ‘corrected’ in the Whollyrude correction centre.

“That's how it is with SNP manifesto pledges. The greater they sound, the more must've got left out.” ― Every Scotsman.

“That’s how it is with SNP manifesto pledges. The greater they sound, the more must’ve got left out.” ― Every Scotsman. Now the SNP can get it wrong till they get it right thanks to the rewrtiable parliamentary code.

By Obfew Skate

CHANGES HAVE been made to the procedure used by MSPs to correct inaccurate assertions made by the SNP.

A section of the Big Cooncil’s business bulletin outlines procedures to rewrite history in a manner acceptable to the ‘indy minded’ public.

Whollyrude’s barefaced lies and obfuscation committee hopes the move will make cover ups, denials and untruths less likely to be exposed.

The changes followed an incident where Tricky Dicky Salmond was caught red handed fiddling the figures on Scottish greengo jobs.

The updated guidance to SNP MSPs also makes it clear the specific reasons why the Presiding Officer is a SNP MSP – she will assist with any clandestine action in order to smooth the path for the Neverendum.

Members of the barefaced lies and obfuscation committee also made it clear the specific steps which are required in order to mislead the public and parliament.

Committee convener Dave Ceep- Lieingson said they had “taken the opportunity to rewrite history whenever some or other substanceless assertion got found out.

He added: “Taken together, we know these changes will help pull the wool over the electorate’s and parliament’s eyes.”

The mechanism by which an MSP can rewrite history was introduced in the rewritable Parliamentary History code.

Last month Tricky Dicky Salmond rewrote the number of greengo jobs from the SNP fantasy 18,000 to the real reality 11,000.

Rewritable time and relative dimension in space (RETARDIS) spokesperson for the SNP, Wee Naebudy said anything he wanted to in the full knowledge that he can rewrite it later and claim he never said it in the first place.

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