AhDinnaeKen presents the made up on the hoof transcript of Firstminster Salmond’s political patsy and damage taker for his wounded integrity and career – Deputy Miss Leader Sturgeon.
BY DEPUTY MISS LEADER STURGEON
SCOTLAND HAS been ill at ease with itself since the dawn of time.
That simple truth, perhaps more than any other, undermines the recent ludicrous assertions made by me and my party in relation to the Big European Quangocracy.
For centuries Scots have beaten the living daylights out of each other, only ever proving unitable in the face of Tory provocation from doon there in Engerland.
Why on Earth should we wrest ourselves free fae they basturt English only to surrender all our political freedom to the faceless and chinless gravy train Eurocrats?
Our worst asset as a nation always has been and always will be those people prepared to vote Labour or anything other than the SNP.
And it is stretching credibility beyond breaking point to suggest, as some do, that my career has not been severely damaged covering up for Tricky Dicky Salmond and his dishonest conduct.
The Scottish National Party has around 90% of the UK’s out and out liars, unable to tell the truth over political basics such as SNP policy and petty little tweets.
Would the cities of Scotland really want to trust such exposed peddlers of untruths, obfuscations and outright deceptions?
Would anyone be prepared to believe a word we had to say on anything after the embarrassing events of the past 6-8 weeks?
These are just a few of the many examples why the Just say Yes (please) campaign is floundering in a morass of mediocrity and empty assertion.
And there is precedent which shows that, when barefaced lieing assertions are to be made, I am up there with Tricky Dicky Salmond.
Indeed, that is why I am known as Deputy Miss Leader.
Realpolitik is a German concept and it found perhaps one of its greatest modern expressions in this country in 1979.
When the Labour government fell to the forces of harsh right wing Thatcherism, who proved to be a decisive force in that fall?
That’s right, the SNP did – one wee whiff of power and we proved how trustable we are to the Scottish electorate.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Overnight the SNP truly earned the moniker ‘Tartan Tories’.
Now is the bit in this droning sanctimonious monologue where I blame the Tories for everything that’s ever gone wrong in Scotland since Saint Robert De Bruce murdered the Leader of the Liberal Democrats in a church.
We know that we can base our currency on chocolate coins and they will be welcome everywhere throughout the world.
Why wouldn’t they be? Are you seriously trying to tell me that our chocolate coins would be ignored considering we are rich in fish, oil and fat jowly windbags?
The opinion of covert Tory and European Quangocracy Presidenté Barroso is important and that’s why we roundly ignore it and calm our supporters by telling them that Barroso is talkin’ pish.
I have asked Mr Barroso for an important meeting, apparently the basturt is still laughing.