Intrepid and fearless defenders of the Nationalist cause condemn insular and incestuous relationship of mainstream media with despicable Unionists. Anonymous source puts everyone straight aboot Newsnat.
By Kiddeon Thenoo
IT STARTED with a “made up letter” over European law and it provoked a “made up source” from the intrepid defenders of the Nationalist Truth and Counter Accusation Committee – Newsnat.
The Hootsman, yesterday, published biased and selective quotes from a letter – WHICH DIDN’T EVEN EXIST – claiming that Scotland wouldnae get invited to the EU pairty straight away should it win separation in 2014.
According to the Hootsman the letter said: “we don’t want your types at oor pairty, the Spanish don’t like ye’s or your ginger pubes.”
This was widely interpreted as a snub to Tricky Dicky Salmond and his band of self righteous ginger pubed freedom fighters who wish to remain in the Union.
Defenders of the faith, Newsnat, despatched their chief Paladin reporter G. A. Ponseybody to deal with the accusation in his clunkiest and most sanctimonious prose possible.
Mr Ponseybody did not disappoint. He quoted, with the full authority of Newsnat, a fabricated and authoritative European spokesperson referred to as “spokesman”.
This insider ‘spokesman’ is reputed to have repudiated the repercussions of the repetition of Scotland’s repleted repatriation.
Spokesman allegedly said: “They think we’re verminy in Germany, we drive them insane in Spain, they’ll make us dance in France, and it’ll end up shittily in Italy.”
Media insiders said that this is a sign of desparation in the Unionist/Nationalist camp:
“This ‘letter’ could have made the mainstream media look ridiculous.” said a made up insider: “Thankfully Newsnat came to the rescue and stole the ridiculous award for themselves.”