If barefaced lying doesn’t lead to the downfall of the Firstminster – keeping his innumerate bullying Education secretary will. AhDinnaeKen proposes an early toast to Mike Bernhard Rust-ell. Whollyrude’s creepiest Education liability.
By Getty Phuckthenoo
THE EDUCATION minster aspect of the Big Whollyrude Cooncil is still more problematic than any barefaced lying problem, it has been admitted.
As the Scottish National Party attempted to rewrite the past four weeks of lies, innumerate lies and barefaced lies, the sovereign people of Scotland agreed that holding on to the Education minster was doing the government much more damage.
Mother-of-two Morag MacHavers said: “I can’t believe that, in this progressive and inclusive age, Scotland would appoint an Education secretary who cannae even count.
“It’s out of order. Especially when there are other career options like bullying schoolkids, selling them fags oot o’ the van and smearing mother’s in the papers.
“There are still other things he can do like write a hundred lines – ‘I must not get caught lying in parliament‘.”
Meanwhile, Whollyrude insiders admitted the Scottish Government has been found to be “out of order” and is not willing to apologise again despite a recent outbreak of apologies in the chamber.
Whollyrude Candy, editor of Whollyrude Magaazine, said: “What we can’t understand is that pantomine season isn’t due until next month.
“Yet, yesterday’s performance by arch-villain Tricky Dicky Salmond was still ‘more of the same’:
“Don’t answer the question, reply “you did it an’ aw” and then sermonise on the Holy Grail attributes of an independent Scotland.
“It’s everyday Westminster styled plum duffery really. Ho hum to more of the same!”