Education secretary still main threat to Firstminster’s credibility

If barefaced lying doesn’t lead to the downfall of the Firstminster – keeping his innumerate bullying Education secretary will. AhDinnaeKen proposes an early toast to Mike Bernhard Rust-ell. Whollyrude’s creepiest Education liability.

“I think the issue is, did I make a mistake? Yes I did. Did I apologise for that mistake? Yes I did. Does it mean I’ve undermined the Big Cooncil? Yes it does. Does it mean that Salmond’s weakened and Swindley’s strengthened? Yes it does. Will it harm the Neverendum’s chances in 2014? Yes it will.” – Mike Bernhard Rust-ell.

By Getty Phuckthenoo

THE EDUCATION minster aspect of the Big Whollyrude Cooncil is still more problematic than any barefaced lying problem, it has been admitted.

As the Scottish National Party attempted to rewrite the past four weeks of lies, innumerate lies and barefaced lies, the sovereign people of Scotland agreed that holding on to the Education minster was doing the government much more damage.

Mother-of-two Morag MacHavers said: “I can’t believe that, in this progressive and inclusive age, Scotland would appoint an Education secretary who cannae even count.

“It’s out of order. Especially when there are other career options like bullying schoolkids, selling them fags oot o’ the van and smearing mother’s in the papers.

“There are still other things he can do like write a hundred lines – ‘I must not get caught lying in parliament‘.”

Meanwhile, Whollyrude insiders admitted the Scottish Government has been found to be “out of order” and is not willing to apologise again despite a recent outbreak of apologies in the chamber.

Whollyrude Candy, editor of Whollyrude Magaazine, said: “What we can’t understand is that pantomine season isn’t due until next month.

“Yet, yesterday’s performance by arch-villain Tricky Dicky Salmond was still ‘more of the same’:

“Don’t answer the question, reply “you did it an’ aw” and then sermonise on the Holy Grail attributes of an independent Scotland.

“It’s everyday Westminster styled plum duffery really. Ho hum to more of the same!”


Filed under Children, Education, Morality

4 responses to “Education secretary still main threat to Firstminster’s credibility

  1. Good the way you’ve managed to photoshop that overgrown stubble on to make him look as scruffy as possible (sarcasm alert!).

    And indeed pantomime is a good comparison for the standard of debate at Holyrood. Oh, yes it is, oh, no it isn’t!!

  2. Thanks Stuart

    Indeed. My photoshopping skills are getting much better and that’s thanks to the Nationalists (Wahey) and not the Unionists (Boo!).

    Still tickles me that the Sun’s sticking it to the Nat leadership. Murdoch’s trying to get back in with Cameron, so I suppose recent headlines back up that assertion.


  3. daftquine

    I also like the Panto theme. I see NS as the principle boy (Jack) and Muscles Russell (bristles an’all) will be the scruffy man that gives him the magic beans… We need the giant ogre and…
    Who’ll be the arse end of the cow? 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s