Salmond named Herald’s Barefaced Liar of the Millennium

Bullying innumerate barefaced liars are no longer counted as politicians by the Herald or the Scottish public. Ho hum!

“A lie carries a weight that is exponentially higher than the truth. It’s weight will retard growth directly in proportion to the area lied.” ― Howard L. Salter. Here’s to the retarded growth  of the SNP’s leadership.

By Haufatroothsa Halelie

FIRSTMINSTER WEE Eck Salmond has been named The Herald’s Barefaced Liar of the Millennium.

Mr Salmond was given the dishonour in recognition of his work on European Legal advice and the introduction of “as exact an answer as anyone has ever given to Parliament“.

It was the second time this year he ended up with publicly humiliating egg on his face.

For the first time, all three shortlisted candidates were gargantuan liars of varying degrees.

The SNP leader saw off competition from SNP Deputy Leader Auld Nick Sturgeon for her ‘patsy lying’ when she revealed to the Big Cooncil that no legal advice had ever been sought by her ‘competent and efficient’ government.

Running a close third was bullying liar Mike Bernhard Rust-ell for his work on college intimidation and innumerate panhandling of college budgets.

Collecting the award, the Firstminster chuckled: “I’ve been barefaced lying all my career, so it seems a bit strange I should be receiving this dishonour so late in the day.

“Here’s to the next two years of barefaced lies and whoppers.”

And the SNP’s Humza Yumza was named One to Watch after his sounding out on Twitter of the prospect of Sharia Law in Scotland.

Diplomat, mediator, advocate, go-between spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy cooed: “Barefaced lies, bullying lies, patsy lies and hidden intent, it’s nae wunner naebudy believes a word we huv tae say.”


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Filed under Morality, Newspeak, Opinion

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