Burning the Butcher’s Apron – A Yes campaigner speaks

The blogosphere is infected with a culture of casual amnesia and delusion which encourages independence followers to overlook the less savoury aspect of Hyde Park Corner styled polemic and substanceless assertion. This week in AhDinnaeKen, a fictitious blog post from the co-Editor of pretentious arty farty blowhard blog Bella Caledonication.

“Since it was a wee bit cold at this time of year, what better way to warm the hands of everyone present than a fine bonfire of the Butcher’s Apron…” – Kevin Williamson – Secretary of the Scottish Independence Convention. Yikes! He’ll be sharing a platform with the Firstminster next.

Auto-da-fe is the symbolic act of burning a heretic. It was first gaily explored by the Spanish Inquisition in 1481. We’re not allowed to do that in Scotland any more thanks to the subjugating laws of the oppressive Unionists at the despised Westminster. What we can do is burn the hated symbol of that oppression – the Union flag. The burning of flags has a fine well embellished tradition amongst Muslim Jihadis, Irish Unionists and Scottish fanatics.

`
By Kevin Williamsonoforange

Part the 1st – My Struggle Gettin the matches to light (should have used Scottish Bluebell)

AS SOMEONE who has never burned a flag or lit a fag from a burning butcher’s apron in my life, the following indulgently frothing diatribe is my attempt at keeping the record evasive.

In 2006 I was still reeling from the realisation that no one would ever take me, my ego, my beliefs, or my Scottish Socialist Party membership seriously enough to elect me to the Big Parish Cooncil at Whollyrude.

The party was full of splitters, liars and chattels of bavardage – people like me.

For the sake of unity, solidarity and insincerity I decided it was time to split.

DADDY CAN WE GO TO THE BURNING

Ah Cannae get the matches to light! Should have used Scottish Bluebell.

I threw in my lot with another load of nescient nutjobs calling themselves the Butcher’s Apron Burners Independence Emancipation Society (BABIES).

Every year us BABIES descended on Glencoe and committed an act of Union Flag auto-da-fe in order to heat our hands, warm our hearts and fire our souls.

It is a completely meaningless but  highly symbolic risible event, full of contradictory nympholepsy ending in predictably dull nullibiety.

SOLEMN PROCESSION

“There’s always plenty of bright banners and flags to brighten up Glencoe before the march through the village up to the 1695 Monument…” – Kevin Williamson

But, on the bright side, there’s a lot of shiny red flags, Irish rebel flute tunes,  awfy braw  Victorian value kilts,  and people wi’ chips on their shooders the size o’ a bag o’ Ayrshire tatties.

Things changed when the Mainstream media forces of Unionist Hootsman oppression chose to attack me for my flag burning antics.

Efter aw, ah’ve turned mah back on aw that, split, and become the secretary of the Scottish Independence Convention’s Kakistocracy Objectives (SICKO).

CARICATURED VICTIM

When asked about his blog, Mr Williamson said: “I can’t really remember.”

I sorted the Hootsman oot like the true SICKO I am. I published their working telephone number and, in keeping with the new independence culture of casual dishonesty, decided to be casually dishonest about a news story they ran on me.

Never before have I read such a straight, honest, accurate and incisive piece in a rag dedicated to oppressing the Scottish people’s heroic struggle for freedom.

GARROTTING FOR LAST MINUTE REPENTANCE

“According to Nationalist principles, when a man is accused of heresy, he is given the choice between repentance, punishment or Unionist oppression.” – Kevin Williamsonoforange

When they asked me about my blog covering the Union flag auto-da-fe ceremonial, I told them straight: 1) “A big boy did it and ran away. 2) Ah dinnae ken. 3) Ah cannae remember. 4) Get it upye’s. 5) Ye’s will rue the day ye’s tried to show me up – it’s mare than flags that burn ye know.”

Further, I blogged about it in my arty farty pretentious blowhard blog entitled Bella Caledonication. I’m proud to say my piece “Media Notables” made Firstminster Salmond’s casual dishonesty look honourable.

But certainly, the smears and attacks against my good name proved completely and fairly founded – strictly adhering to the basics of news principles of Who, What, Where, Why and When.

Bastards!

Next Blog – My Struggle Part the 2ndPuttin’ oot the fire wi’ gasoline.

Further reading recommended by AhDinnaeKen:
Bella’s Media Notes 1       Bella’s Media Notes 2  Flag Burner Report – Scotsman

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

3 responses to “Burning the Butcher’s Apron – A Yes campaigner speaks

  1. daftquine

    I feel quite sick that this is a hero to many who seems to have a degree of respectability with bloggers. 😦

    • Indeed Annie

      He also stood on the same stage as The Firstminster at the Yes campaign’s Declaration of Cinemaplex 7.

      If you’ve read either of the Bella links posted at the bottom of this piece you’ll realise there’s an element of ‘casual dishonesty’ regarding his explanation of the Glencoe flag burning event.

      Guys like him give me the heeby jeebies.

      Regards

  2. daftquine

    Yes, I saw that about the declaration of Cineworld. Tis a Broad Kirk right enough, but according to today’s Herald all is not altogether rosy in that camp.
    He’s also challenged me on twitter a while back, forget what it was about. Anyway, he didn’t waste too much of his time on little old me, thankfully! I did read the links.
    *Googles ‘heebie jeebies’ to look for a cure* 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s