Celtic tiger or tyrant? SNP vote for war

SNP members and delegates vote to ditch ideology and principle in order to win 2% more votes in Neverendum

“A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us.” – Margaret Thatcher. Like Wee Eck said: “We didn’t mind her policies so much.” Congratulations to the new grown up SNP and their ‘big boy’ Thatcherite policies.

By Holly Cost

MEMBERS OF the Scottish National Party have voted to ditch their 30 year old commitment to peace, idealism and principle.

Members debated the issues earnestly and passionately before the party’s Quisling traitor wing voted against integrity and decency.

Angus Robberson MP put forward the resolution saying that nuclear weapons could be used by an independent Scotland to sort out the SNP’s enemies in the UK.

Alluding to the first strike principle of NATO’s Scottish nuclear umbrella he said: “Let’s do it to them before they do it to us. Just like He Man, I Have the Power.”

The motion was opposed by the principled wing of the party but the Snake Oil hucksters, war mongers and Quislings won the day 426 to 332.

Mr Robberson told the conference the fresh approach was developed after the SNP realised that without tacit American support, independence would be wiped out.

He added that a turncoat change of view was dependent on Trident nuclear weapons being kept on Scottish soil for the next three decades at least.

It would also be dependent on Scotland playing host to French and American nuclear subs and any other NATO country’s nuclear military detritus.

He told the gathering: “This volte face abandonment of principle and ideology sends a very important message to the electorate about the trust they can put in the SNP’s leadership.

“We know there will be fallout over this, but we shall radiate our power and hope for a curie.”

Bleeding heart liberal and potential enemy within, John Finney, chose to be awkward and potentially embarrassing to the leader of Scotland’s people.

He whined in Moses Salmond’s direction: “You vote to join NATO, you vote that you have to press that big red button should anyone piss America off enough.

“Let this vote go through and you are signalling to the world that we have given up on the social justice vein – it’s more of the same UK!”

But Mr Robberson, who is committed to an independence debate free of scaremongering, countered: ” Our NATO friends told us that the simplest way to describe us not being in NATO is like pulling the plug on the radar protecting our oil.

“Everything that is around Scotland turns into a black hole where we have no idea what’s going on and the Chinese whom we welcomed in to the North Sea with open arms will invade.

“That’s jist no happenin! If we don’t make this focus group based decision we will be committing an ‘unpardonable folly’.”

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