The Ten Commandments – Moses Salmond style

Trumpton affair emphasises that Moses Salmond needs to ‘haud back’ on the ego driven self righteousness

We have learned in recent years to translate almost all of political life in terms of conspiracy. And Moses Salmond's shady dealings, as never before, really, have come into their own.

We have learned in recent years to translate almost all of political life in terms of conspiracy. And Moses Salmond’s shady dealings, as never before, really, have come into their own.

By Sunov God

BLASPHEMER, UNBELIEVER and confirmed heathen worshipper of anti-Scotti Mammon, The Donald Trumpton, has been exposed by Moses Salmond as a traitorous, vengeful, untrustable turncoat.

It has been proclaimed that from now on The Donald shall be referred to as Toom Tabbard (Empty Wig).

Toom Tabard Trumpton stands accused by the 13 Members of the £1 million Moses Salmond Star Chamber of crimes against the Nationalist public image.

He failed to help rally Moses’ people against the forces of the Unionyptians and the Tribe from over the sea.

And verily, great and grievous damage has been done to the reputation of the Scotti leader.

Cynics, sceptics and rationalists alike have now seen the extent of Moses “Thou scratcheth my back and I’ll scratcheth yours”  behind the scenes exploitations.

But Nationalists say that Toom Tabbard Trumpton shall be judged in the Economic, Spirtitual and Political Nirvana of an Independent Skintland.

“We shall part Toom Tabbard Trumpton’s hair like Moses parted the waves of anti-Scotti spin put in place by the enemies of his people’s nation.” said High Chief Scribe of the Scotti Protectorate, Geoff Aiberdeen.

Toom Tabbard Trumpton stands accused of reviling and desecrating the Ten Nationalist Commandments of Moses Salmond.

Can you guess which he will have to defend himself from?

1) You shall have no other Gods but me

2) You shall not make for yourself any golf course or hotel without bowing down and worshipping the Salmond

3) You shall not counter-spin against the name of Moses Salmond your Lord

4) You shall remember and keep Firstminster’s Questions day holy.

5) Respect your leader and deputy leader

6) You must not kill our chances of a Yes vote

7) You must not commit adultery against the purity of the SNP vision

8) You must not steal the media limelight from the Scottish Government

9) You must not give false evidence against your Firstminster

10) You must not be envious of your neighbour’s parliament. You shall not be envious of his wealth, nor anything that belongs to him except for his oil revenues.

Answers on a Freedom of Misinformation Request addressed to Goebbels Murdoch at Sunny Scratchmyback Towers, Wapping.

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2 Comments

Filed under CyberNats, Diplomacy, Referendum

2 responses to “The Ten Commandments – Moses Salmond style

  1. Not many of the ten that Donald HASN’T fallen foul of, I suspect.

    But with two such, er, forceful personalities it’s hardly surprising that their relationship has ended in tears.

  2. Maybe it’ll get the Whollywood treatment one day. I can hear the trailer in my head now.

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