Scottish Sun declares Day of Destiny (again)

Second most historic day in the history of world history to take place on Monday (after subsidised lunch)

Salmond's puppet master celebrates his master stroke at expense of everyone in United Kingdom.

Salmond’s puppet master celebrates his master stroke at expense of everyone in United Kingdom.

By Ahvwetma Pants

AN HISTORIC deal has been struck on a single ‘yes or no’ question in Moses Salmond vanity project, it appeared last night.

The breakthrough comes ahead of crunchy talks between the Firstminster and the Prime Toffee Minister at the tuck shop in Edinborrow.

Last night Tory Tory Skintland Office Minister David Hundell said in a TV interview that voters would face two more years of stultifyingly fractious boredom on whether Nationalists should be taken seriously or not.

He said: “We are all agreed that Moses has been suitably chastised over Devo Max and his career is now on a shoogly peg.

“He can have what he wants regarding the wording of the question, and five year olds can vote if that’s what the Nato’s want – it’s not going to make any difference anyway other than maybe pissing everyone off when the Nato’s go in the huff after the inevitable result.”

It is also expected the agreement will allow the SNP to make carte blanche barnum statements regarding the emancipation of the oppressed and downtrodden subjugated Scots under the yoke of the imperial ba**ard Anglo-Saxon non-Celtic English.

Casualties through boredom attrition are expected to be severe and forecasters have predicted that suicides may outstrip methadone related deaths.

Windbag, crashing bore and thoughtlessly unimaginative drone spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “Roots toots and hoots man! This is what we wanted all along. Alex Salmond has played an absolute blinder and made the evil Unionyptians look like fools. Truly he is the son of God.”



Filed under CyberNats, Referendum

6 responses to “Scottish Sun declares Day of Destiny (again)

  1. Thanks for relieving the tedium of this whole thing with a bit of humour.

    By the way, loved the “Bella Caledonication” quip the other day!!

    Think Trump’s due a mention though ;0)

  2. Thankyou Stuart

    I’m always glad to hear when I’ve made you laugh. It’s meant to be the point of this blog after all.

    Funnily enough, your kind remarks have made me read this blog again and I started laughing out loud. That’s got to make me pathologically something – eh?

    I missed the Trump Scotsman story this morning. Which is a pity, it’s the sort of thing that really turned me off the SNP in the first place.

    Normally I’ll follow Good Morning Scotland for what they’re covering and then look for a requisite news story to plagiarise and pretend to be satirical with.

    So cheers, reading this story again has made me realise that maybe I should keep going after all.


  3. Eh? You surely weren’t thinking of giving up?

    As I think I said before, perhaps it’s the unrelenting pace that’s causing you doubts!

  4. Thanks Stuart

    Not so much the unrelenting pace as the unrelenting sense of ennui that overcame me at the particular time I wrote the comment.

    New job means that I’m tired and grumpy at night. Fresher and happier in the morning. If I don’t post every day though, I’ll probably end up not posting at all.

    You’ll appreciate this: 🙂

  5. Hehe, a lot of truth in the Daily Mash article.

    I suppose that for most in the MacBlogosphere the Holly Willoughby equivalent is Alex Salmond.

    Luckily I’m not normally admiring anyone that I’m commenting about, but I don’t suppose that makes my contributions any less self-indulgent ;0)

    • Yes

      I suppose ultimately we’re all self indulgent navel gazers to a degree. This blog, as you’ve probably already guessed is total self indulgence, so I reckon the Daily Mash piece has got me banged to rights. 🙂

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