SNP signal: We’ll stay with nuclear weapons but ban Tories

SNP leader signals new priorities for land of milk and honey come the big day

Alex Kneel signals to the country that anti-Scots will be dealt with in pre-emptive legislation as 'signalled' by his Skintland on Doomsday interview. That's a lot of signalling.

Alex Kneel signals to the country that anti-Scots will be dealt with in pre-emptive legislation as ‘signalled’ by his Skintland on Doomsday interview. That’s a lot of signalling.

By Dayinwhit Ittakes

A SOLEMN League and Covenant for an independent Skintland should explicitly ban Tories from the country, Firstminster Moses Salmond proclaimed yesterday.

The Firstminster said that an independent Skintish constitution should explicitly rule out the hosting of Toxic Tories in all their definitions.

Salmond claimed the proclamation “reinforces” the SNP’s unshakeable opposition to the traitor coined ‘Tartan Tories’ label.

His comments signalled that the SNP are set to rubber stamp debate policy on nuclear weapons and membership of the Conservative party post the ‘big day’.

The SNP said such a move would reinforce the party’s unshakeable opposition to anything which might make neverendum voters waver.

The proposal was unveiled as Nationalists prepared to debate plans to make abortion compulsory for those likely to produce anti-Scots Tory progeny.

Firstminster Moses proclaimed: “As signalled by Alex Kneel, we will bring forth proposals to rid our country of the enemy within through Aborto Nocta and that proclamation will be ratified post 2014.

“The SNP position on this is that for too long oor wee country has been held back by the craven traitorous backstabbing infiltrators intent on denying oor country my legacy and destiny.”

Plans by the SNP leadership to keep Scotland Tory free were hailed as “progressive” by Braveheart Commandos, Polarised Militants, Frothing Cybernats, Butcher’s Apron Burners and Puritan Patriots yesterday.

Members of the Kill the Tories Skintland Coalition welcomed Moses Salmond’s plans for Aborto Nocta but suggested the policy will only deal with the anti-Scots not yet born.

Coalition heidbanger Bella Caledonication said: “While Aborto Nocta is welcome, it does nothing to deal with the real danger of anti-Scots voting against our destiny. The SNP must face up to the real and present danger of a No vote.”

The SNP’s supine acceptance of their leaderships proclamations will go ahead later this month.

Mindless drone, timorous cow’rin beasty Wee Naebudy said: “Labouring Tories, Lib-Dem Tories and Tory Tories – your cairds huv been marked.”

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