Red Millibean concedes that SNP government could win the Neverendum in 2014
By Lostice Marbles
LABOURING LEADER Red Millibean has admitted that some people might vote Yes in the Neverendum.
Speaking after he witnessed the massive groundswell of popularity at the Independence Frrreeeedddddooooommmmmm™ rally last week in Edinborrow, he said “that’s it, the country’s f**ked.”
In a speech to the Scotch Knights reception at the Labouring Party conference in Personchester, the Labouring Wonk spoke of his fears of being forced to take the SNP seriously.
He said: “Let’s face it, Skintland could rise and become a nation again and act as a beacon of inclusive progressiveness which will save the world and the rUK from itself.
“I remember the Lord of the Rings when Gandalf got little Scotch hobbit Peregrine Crook to light the beacon at Gondor to ask for Rohan’s help.
“A Yes vote in the Neverendum would be the lighting of that beacon for the watching world.”
Mr Millibean also told his audience that he would be appointing Most Haunted’s Derek Acorah as his chief adviser for economic and spiritual rejuvenation.
He explained that there was several billion pounds outstanding in a tooth fairy account which lay outwith the remit of the City of London.
Mr Acorah has regularly freed haunted buildings from malevolent spirits, ghosts and poltergeists and is believed to have opened negotiations with the tooth fairy in order to clawback her ill gotten tax haven gains.
The Labouring party expects his assistance to help rid Britain of the ghoulish and ghastly Tories presently haunting the Westminster parliament.
SNP Braveheart Commandos are currently getting their woad painted sporrans in a twist due to a series of high profile Labourer gaffes which they feel is handing them fffrrreeeeedddddooooommmmm™ on a plate.
Professor John Poultice of Scratchcard University said: “What everyone seems to forget is that in the closing week of the Scottish Parliamentary vote in 1979, Yes voter intention peaked at 66 per cent.
“Yet after some high profile scaremongering it dropped to 51%. The real scaremongering hasn’t even started yet.”