MSPs warn of ‘fatalistic’ attitude to independence disease

Concerned committee highlights failings in Scottish government process to protect electorate from inevitable boredom in run up to the Neverendum.

“Boredom, after all, is a form of criticism.” – Wendell Phillips.  Being bored rigid is by implication a severe form of criticism.

By Boar Dumb

THE SCOTTISH government should do more to address the huge difference in independence boredom between rational and delusional individuals, according to a group of MSPs.

Whollyrude’s Just Haudit Committee held an inquiry into Section 30 Neverendum services and their effect on the electorate.

The MSPs said their “most disturbing” finding was that people in the most average areas expected to suffer from Neverendum problems such as boredom ossification and a slow lingering death.

The committee has called on Minsters to set out how they will address this “inevitable attitude”.

The Neverendum boredom rate in Scotland has increased so much over recent months that in most council areas suicide has increased ten fold.

However, no councils can be held responsible for Scotland’s government boring its people to death.

People in average areas are more likely to have a heart attack than vote for Independence. If they get to the ballot box, they are less likely to put an X in the Yes box.

During their inquiry, MSPs on the Just Haudit Committee discovered that many people from average areas and from certain political persuasions expected to become boredicus rigidicus forevericus.

Chief Scunner of the Committee Iain Greyman said: “The powerful but deeply disturbing message was ‘people like us expect more of our politicians’.

“We learned that many simply do not expect to enjoy real voting choice and have an almost resigned acceptance that no matter what they vote it will be ‘more of the same’.”

He added: “The Just Haudit Committee is therefore calling on the Scottish government to set out how it proposes to address this apathetic attitude within average communities and some of Scotland’s non-nationalist minority communities.”

The committee has asked the Scottish government to monitor the types of Section 30 procedures carried out on different political groups.

This will help them evaluate the success of multi-hundred thousand pound court initiatives to deny Freedom of Information requests, and to say how they intend to improve engagement with their mostly adolescent kiddy on government.

Ministry of (Mis)Information Commissioner Wee Naebudy said: “We will willfully ignore any salient points raised by this irritating committee at the taxpayers leisure.”

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