Gie the Scots the truth… no’ a barra load o’ ministerial code blethers

With many Minsters continually correcting their constituents for ‘not knowing what was in the public interest’ there’s a real fear that open government will disappear completely.

By Moan McVulpine

A FEW years ago in opposition I praised the Freedom of Information commissioner’s role in helping the public hold those in power to account.

They forced “braw concessions oot o’ government bams” for ordinary Scots to see.

Rosemary Whitznew, from the Information Commission, helped expose hypocrisies and embarrassments such as politicians taxi fare millions and the fiscal repercussions of local taxes.

She started by getting the voters to try out different approaches to accountabilities – legal advice and commitment to open government principles were very popular – before asking them to come up with Scots words for secretive two faced fibbers.

A sea of hands went up: evasive, clandestine, creepy, secretive, hypocritical, deceitful, underhanded, two-faced. Total disgust on each and every disbelieving face.

The sussed, of course, see it for whit it is; cheap Westminster style contemptuous politicking at the sovereign Scottish voters expense. So nae chinge there then.

Afterwards, an ex-War Criminal Labourer Prime Minister, said his own government spoke the same SNP style of language of “talk like the left, act like the right”; Bliar’s legacy as it is now known.

For Rosemary, this story is typical. So much consensual trust has disappeared between the Nationalists and the Rationalist Scots populace.

Often voters are still talked down to by manipulative politicians and patronised as if they were children, especially by Firstminsters. It’s drummed in – if they “don’t think right” it will leave them making anti-Scots decisions detrimental to the Firstminsters career.

But there is no right and wrong way to think. There is only Sun King Moses way – and the Porridge Test has already been formulated to correct this anomaly in the voters.

Hiding things from the voters brings a great advantage. It enables only positive progressive stories to emerge that independence is indeed the panacea required to escape the oppressive austerity of the Unionyptians.

However, there is always the danger of inconveniences like the truth and legally binding obligations to cast light on the darker recesses of Nationalist thinking.

In many ways the SNP are now where the Labourers used to be – there is a fear they have run oot o’ ideas and are more concerned with covering their backs than doing anything remotely useful for the populace they serve.

That attitude is probably bang on and correct. Or as one great Scots blogger wrote, “Such a dearth of talent in a party.”

COMEDY RELIEF

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4 Comments

Filed under Moan McVulpine, Newspeak, Opinion

4 responses to “Gie the Scots the truth… no’ a barra load o’ ministerial code blethers

  1. I see you have a bit of a nationalist rival in the form of that BBC Scotlandshire site. The style looks very familiar – but without the patois – so maybe you’ve been providing some inspiration. Or perhaps there’s just not too much specifically Scottish political satire around.

    However, a lot of people initially seemed to have thought that the content was genuine reportage, and Newsnet is making a virtue of that, but it suggests to me that it’s not very good satire. I think when something’s satirical then it should be self-evidently so, do you think?

  2. I believe my stuff to be self evidently ridiculous – apart, maybe, from the vacuously opinonated MacAesops and the occasional self-righteous Moanie.

    It’s meant to be satirical but I’ll leave that judgement to my readers – me, my cat, my gran, Daftquine, you and the occasional misdirected googler.

    In some instances, this blog certainly hasn’t been taken as ridicule or satire and that never fails to amusingly dumbfound me. So, given that, it’s probably in the same category as BBC Scotlandshire.

    I’ve only seen the one piece, which I think I accessed through Newsnet, and found it mildly amusing – maybe not for the reasons intended by the author, but mildly amusing nevertheless. Don’t tell me you’re deserting me?

    The biggest problem with AhDinnaeKen, of course, is that it’s rehashed plagiarised nonsense with barely accessible jokes which occasionally crossover into bad taste and always into pathologically shallow cretinism. And that’s just the good points.

    If that’s what’s passing for satire these days then we’re all f**ked.

    So no change there then.

    Regards

  3. “It’s meant to be satirical but I’ll leave that judgement to my readers – me, my cat, my gran, Daftquine, you and the occasional misdirected googler.”

    Ah, I wondered where all my readers had gone!!

    “In some instances, this blog certainly hasn’t been taken as ridicule or satire and that never fails to amusingly dumbfound me. So, given that, it’s probably in the same category as BBC Scotlandshire.”

    Not so sure about that. I suspect ADK’s problem is more to do with the mindset that sees any criticism at all of the big project as some sort of heresy, thus they don’t really get satire.

    And of course good satire as well as perhaps being self-evidently satirical should also represent incisive politics, which again perhaps explains the confusion above.

    Anyway, did you see the Newsnet article about the Scotlandshire site? Looks like it’s taking off, but not difficult to see why.

  4. Just read it.

    Humour is obviously like beauty, in that, it is in the eye of the beholder.

    The BBC Scotlandshire style is contrived and stilted at best and fairly average Cybernattery at worst. Most of the sentences are too long due to trying too hard to say too much with too little effect.

    AhDinnaeKen’s hate blinded idiot author would say that anyway though, wouldn’t he?

    He’s obviously been outgunned by a more informed, incisive and intelligent rival. 🙂

    Funnily enough, the biggest hits AhDinnaeKen ever recorded were on days that Unionist supporters reposted direct links in their Facebook page.

    Maybe the mask of general political contempt and disenfranchisement should be dropped by this jaded and cynical nihilist and be revealed as the Neo-Liberal Labour Unionist that he quite obviously is.

    Regards

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