Scotland’s politicians add ‘no value’ to Scottish life suggests study

New study tells sovereign people of Scotland stuff that they already know – ho hum

“An extravagance is something that Scottish politicians think is a necessity.” – Long Shanker.

By Naychinj Therethen

A EUROPEAN Commission report has claimed that the Scottish parliament adds nothing to the country’s economic wellbeing.

The Economic Leech Study for Scotland’s political industry, using data from 2011, said the sector brought a Gross Added Value (GVA) of £ -50 million.

The data did not take into account those MSPs benefitting from free methadone prescriptions or the First Minister’s private pie and pasty expense account.

Holyrude, which represents the Scottish political industry, has crticised the report for not covering the value of Neverendum pishtalk.

They claim that Neverendum pishtalk’s contribution to involuntary suicide in the community has saved the country millions in unpaid benefits.

GVA is an economic measure of the total income and contribution of a given sector or industry.

According to the study, which was compiled by Unholy Alliance Research Ltd using data from 2011, Scots politicians were the least needed of the 16 social and economic sectors evaluated and were placed behind methadone addicts and bona fide Jakeys.

It also claimed the industry had only ever employed one useful politician – Donald Dewaraglit – and he wiz ‘deid noo’.

Drain on Country since 1999

Dr Dansin Monkey, author of the conclusions in the report said: “While the data in the Economic Leech Study was compiled across the whole of Scotland’s economic industries, the Big Holyrude Cooncil came out of it the worst by a significant margin.”

The Big Holyrude Cooncil said it acknowledged the limitations of its politicians due to a dearth of talent and had noted in the report that most of the findings did not compare to similar ‘personal’ research found in Sun King Alex of Salmond’s diary.

A Holyrude spokesperson of limited credibility said: “We ur useful. The Scottish Parliament has generated enough hot air to spin an unwanted wind turbine for a century.”

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