Osborne secures another 100,000 Yes votes for Neverendum

Bullingdon Oik Chancer deals more damage to the Bitter Together campaign in twenty minutes than Asmodeus Darling’s banking regulation record ever could.

Bullingdon Minister for Towel folding

By Dizzes Mither Kenhesoot

EXPERT TOWEL folder Bullingdon ‘Oik’ Osborne flicked the SNP’s Neverendum plans with a wet towel last night.

Speaking in Glasgone, the Bullingdon Chancer poured cold dish water on SNP plans for a towel union within the towel cupboard in the wake of a Neverendum to separate dish towels from bath towels.

Pasty Osborne said: “Towel folding is my expertise and my bread and butter, it is easy to keep dish and hand towels together, but trying to combine hand towel currency with bath towel currency is extremely difficult.

“So it’s difficult to argue for establishing a towel union while pursuing hand and dish towel separation.”

A spokesperson for Finance Liar John Swithery said: “We need no lessons from a Tory towel folder whose disastrous towel folding policies are threatening dish towels in the bathroom and hand towels in the kitchen.”

The Tory towel folder already boosted the Separation campaign last week with his £10 billion “let them eat pasties” announcement for the poor. His latest meddling interjection is expected to boost Yes voter numbers by another 100,000.

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