First Gauleiter: BBC will get what it deserves post independence

Potential faither o’ the proud Picto-Scotti Nation of Dal Riata Alba Caledonia unveils nightmare vision of show trials and public humiliation for anti-Scottish BBC employees.

“By the skillful and sustained use of propaganda, one can make a people see even heaven as hell or an extremely wretched life as paradise.” – Adolf Hitler. So! Cybernats! Go back to your constituencies and prepare for paradise.

By Propah Ghander

FIRST GAULEITER Sun King Alex of Salmond yesterday vowed the BBC will get what it deserves should Scotland separate from the UK.

He said he will land grab existing BBC assets and staff and apply a newly formulated “porridge test”.

The test, designed to weed out the anti-Scots element currently infecting the British Brainwashing Corporation, will be applied in the court of nationalist opinion and televised nationwide.

A title for the new show trial programme is expected to be called “Better Bot than anti-Scot” or “Careless broadcasting costs votes.”

Those who pass will continue to work in broadcasting, those who don’t will not be heard from again.

The Firstminster also promised to reveal more details on how a new station would operate.

He said: “Scotland and its sovereign people will have a real opportunity to benefit from the three Wee Eckian principles of Misinform, Boretodeath and Dumbdoon.”

Popular Beeb shows such as Deadenders, The Voiceless and Strictly Wear Tartan would stay on Scottish TV.

But Shadowy Machine Politician Margaret Current said: “Because of the weight of evidence that the British Bourgeoise Corporation is fervently anti-Murdoch, Wee Eck wants to open the deferential door to MacFox television.

“The Cybernats and associated rockets will love it, but for everyone else there’s only so much tartan, shortbreid, fffrrrrreeeeeeddddddoooooommmmmm™ and Wee Eck’s coupon on the telly you can take.

“The Labouring Party’s decision to push the BBC out of London has ensured an anti-Nationalist biased propaganda output by over 100 TV companies in Scotland and 15,000 people employed in exposing SNP pishtalk. Now that’s what I call broadcasting.”

SNP Spokesperson of non-denominational multi-cultural trans-gender Wee Naebudy said: “The SNP are an inclusive and progressive party. If you fail the ‘porridge test’ you will not be included and will definitely be progressed.”

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2 Comments

Filed under Media, New Bills, Newspeak

2 responses to “First Gauleiter: BBC will get what it deserves post independence

  1. daftquine

    Great writing as usual, VERY funny 😀
    So glad about Strictly Wear Tartan! https://twitter.com/Robinwindsor/status/239378150361010177

  2. Thankyou Daftquine

    Your encouragement is appreciated. (As is the funny picture) 🙂

    Regards

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