Drinks giant on Independence – We widnae even notice

Independence vanity project makes no difference to us, insists Salmond’s nemesis arsekicker Palsy Welsh

“He wants he says, a business with soul, well Mr Walsh can kiss ma hole”. – Rab Wilson, Kay Park, 2009, death of Johnnie Walker march.

By Johnnie Walked

ANTELOPE KILLING, wife beating, tax evading, brand desecrating, customer duping, corporate bully and Firstminster bitch slapper, Palsy Welsh says Wee Eck’s vanity project wont even register on drinks giant Rajeo’s business radar.

Palsy Welsh, the company’s chief kleptocrat said minnows like Salmond and his kiddy on independence powers would not make one jot of difference to Rajeo’s global tax evading strategy.

Rajeo is investing £1 billion to further straitjacket any semblance of competition in the Scotch whisky industry over the next five years.

Welsh is confident of fooling Nationalist types that this is a good thing for Scotland rather than a tightening of Rajeo’s corporate monopolistic hegemony.

Poodle Sun King Salmond will play along because he learned his lesson
from the embarrassingly public bitch slapping he received from Welsh in 2009 – the last occasion in which Salmond dared act the big man with Welsh.

Brand Integrity Wreckers

Rajeo, which is behind the wrecking of 200 year old Johnnie Walked’s brand integrity and heritage, also systematically wrecks the integrity of other malt Scotch whisky brands such as Cardwho.

Mr Welsh’s comments came as Rajeo announced a 13% rise in full year on year tax avoidance and evasion which he said was helped by stashing money all over the place like Asia, Africa and Latin America.

Net profiteering for the year ending 30 June stood at £1.94 billion up from £1.9 billion a year earlier.

When asked on Radio Bore’s Today programme whether Scottish independence, if it happened, would make a difference to the company’s investment decisions, Mr Welsh responded: “No difference at all. It’s more of the same.”

He said: “Salmond has been around for what feels like hundreds of years, he blows hot and cold like a Joan McCarthyalpine on heat. We don’t need to take any notice of fairweather patsies like him.

“Our decision to invest is based on grown up economics that pretendy independence will not affect.

“We have a very good relationship with Holyrude – they know not to mess or we’ll carve them up like last time in 2009.”

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2 Comments

Filed under Economy, Referendum

2 responses to “Drinks giant on Independence – We widnae even notice

  1. John Ruddy

    of course, the other reason is that Diageo would find it fairly hard to make Scotch Whisky in another country….

    • Taken as a given, but they don’t necessarily use all Scots ingredients do they? Or play on an even playing field. Appellation de Controlee doesn’t exist in Scotland due to a complete lack of imagination.

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