Running scared of letting people vote no

THE SCVJO have come together with the SNP and UNITED to provide a fall back option for Wee Eck

By Moan McVulpineFresh eyed, bushy tailed and waitin’ for nae change

THE TERM Scottish Council for Voluntary Junkets Organisation (SCVJO) might be unfamiliar – but the chances are they have helped a political party or someone you’ve seen on the telly.

They are the umbrella group for Neverendum questions – all two of them – from “Do you agree that Scotland should be free from imperialist subjugation?”, to “Do you agree that Sun King Alex of Salmond deserves a second chance at staying in his job when the independence vote fails?”

The Scottish Chancer Awards, which are run by the SCVJO, this year recognised the work of Observer Bank Account Hackers, NewsCorp Benevolent Lobbyists, Principled Freedom of Information Request Deniers and Devo Max Fallback Supporters. That’s just a taster.

Why anybudy widnae attack the SCVJO or their collaboraters is beyond me. But that is what Willie Wont-he, the leader of Scotland’s Least Principled party, did recently.

Wont-he is miffed because he didnae get a sniff of Wee Eck’s £10 grand SCVJO junket money to go galavantin across the world on a ‘fact finding’ mission. Maybe he thinks alleged politicians like him have that right. But politics is pointless if it’s not about pals you went to University with. That means SCVJO chief executive Smartin Slime and onybudy else wi’ a bit of influence in Scotland or the global stage, like Goebbels Murdoch or Donald Trumpton.

They should all have their say depending on the size of their chequebook and their potential influence on a blank cheque independent Scotland.

So full marks to the SCVJO for coming together with the Murdochs, Souter’s, vested interests and other rich people to set up CarveupofScotland.org.

The forum say they want corporates and plutocrats to join the debate, not just about independence an independent Scotland but about whether the current set-up is too lefty and not Thatcherite ‘business friendly’ enough.

Who could object? Wont-he, and Lament and Gotyason and 60+ per cent of the Scottish electorate, obviously.

They feel threatened because the SCVJO have already said their pal Wee Eck should have much more power, particularly over how mutual junket money and subsidised canteen money is spent.

Willie Wont-he is particularly incensed that Smartin Slime is sympathetic to having a ‘stay-in your job’ clause on the Neverendum ballot paper for Wee Eck. SCVJO Chairwoman All-lies-son Elliot chided Wont-he saying: “I consider your lies and untruths to be bang on the mark son. Now f**k off and die!”

That’s him telt. But Wont-he is not alone in his concern.

The Lib-Bents, the Tories and Labourers are all determined that Wee Eck should be oot on his ear after the separatist vote inevitably fails. The SNP grass roots are fine wi’ that, it’s the leadership that isnae so share.

The leadership just don’t want it to happen. Having tasted power and associated film premiere type junkets, they want it to continue indefinitely and falling back on a Devo-Max option would certainly help.

COMEDY RELIEF:

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Filed under Moan McVulpine, Opinion, Referendum

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