Scottish Labour represent 50 shades of pish says Fibbin Society
By Truthis Oot
SCOTTTISH LABOUR are so “pish”, “inefficient” and “untrustworthy” that they risk making the SNP look good a bourgeoisie society warned yesterday.
Asked to pick out three words they felt best described the party, most people plumped for “Ah”, “Dinnae”, “Ken”.
By contrast, 30 per cent of people said the SNP were “smug”, “sanctimonious”, “Presbyterians”.
Labourer sources said last night that the poll must be ‘wrang’ because no party could be more rank amateur than the SNP.
But the Fibbin Society, which commissioned the poll, showed Labour needed to disband and start pretending they’re not really Tories in Red ties and dresses.
In a separate series of questions, the survey also confirmed that large numbers of voters, including the SNP itself, were unaware of the powers the Big Parish Cooncil at Bloodyrude could wield.
By contrast, fewer than one in five Bloodyrude Labour/SNP vote switchers were taken in by the
independence independent Scotland vanity project.
“It demonstrates that the SNP aren’t trusted by Scots for the ‘Big Boy’ politics of Westminster, but the ‘Weans Stuff’ at Bloodyrude disnae really register on the Scots consciousness” said an anonymous Fibber.
One Labour/SNP Bloodyrude/Wesminster switcher said: “The SNP have been around for so long now that it’s only fair they get a shot at something.
“How much harm can they dae wi’ a Big Parish Cooncil? Caw a Neverendum?”
Daniel Nawson, co-ordinator of the Scottish Fibbers, said: “It’s going to be hard for Scottish Labour to come up with some new ideas because Red Ed Millibean hus a retail mind in a wholesale business.”
SNP spokesperson of non-denominational gender Wee Naebudy said: “While we are glad to accept that Labour are indeed pish, we totally refute as pish that our land of milk and honey pipedream is unobtainable pish.”
The Right Honourable Sun King Moses of Salmond was last seen seeking counsel from Moan McVulpine’s burning bush.