Unholy Alliance seek evangelist to spread the word on ‘The Joy of Union’.
By Subjy Gaishon
ARE YOU a patronising Tory/Labour/Lib-Dem bastard?
Do you think that the Scots need to be put in their place once and for all?
Do you care not a jot about being called names like Judas, Quisling and Collaborator?
Do you think that the Scots are Too Wee, Too Poor and Too Stupit to act alone?
If you nodded your head vigorously to any or all of these questions you may just be the man, woman or person of transgender able to fulfil the moribund new position of Lord Protectorate of the North Britain Treasury.
The role involves:
- Being able to get up the nose of the SNP with every utterance
- Intervening in debates where your opinion is clearly not wanted
- Spreading lies and untruths about the glorious Salmond revolutionary U-turns.
- Engaging in anti-separatist rhetoric at every available opportunity
- Earning £30,000 per annum plus approx £20,000 bonus in ‘traitor’ money
- Anything else which will let England and the English have a richt guid laugh at the Scots expense
The UK Treasury Protectorate website has advertised the role for the head of its new office in the North Britain region of the United Kingdom.
They expect the successful candidate to exploit, coerce, bribe and blackmail any and all of their extensive contacts in order to diminish and demean the reputation of the Pict, Gael and Scotti people.
The job will continue until December 2014, the year that the Scottish Sun is expected to call the Neverendum.
Spokesperson for the SNP Wee Naebudy said: “The Protectorate think they’re guid at wasting taxpayers money wi’ this joab. Wait tae they see how much we’ve wasted on no complying with the Information Commissioner’s requests. Once again, you can trust the SNP tae dae things better than the despicable Unionists.”