Salmond’s secret Olympic list leaked

 If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought according to George Orwell. AhDinnaeKen presents the backup Firstminster thought list which may or may not corrupt the spirit of the already corrupted Olympics

Is it just me, or does Scolympians sound like newspeak on an off day?

By Neol Ogism

SCOLYMPIANS OR Scolymopians may or may not be the stupidest made up words you’ve ever heard.

When queried on the thinking behind the new word, Sun King Alex of Salmond said: “I thought a thought, but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.”

Here are some the words which formed part of the Firstminster’s other thoughts:

Scoldrinkympians – Mischievously impish Scottish minded Scandinavian beer drinkers who like to sink the gold stuff while watching the Olympics.

Scollopympians – Extremely fit and competitive Olympic sea food with Cullen Skink currently rated as the favourite to win a culinary gold medal.

Scofflympians – Cynical non-patriotic dour whinging Scottish types who can’t afford to buy into the gold halo of sponsored Olympic spirit.

Scudlympians – Avid Scots Olympic ramblers who like to watch the Olympics while naked.

Scoldlympians – Scots dullards who constantly find fault with everything and anything to do with the Olympics.

Sconelympians – Traditionally Scottish Olympic training quick bread made of wheat, barley or oatmeal. Best served with Golden Churn and Strawberry jam.

Scopelympians – Those Scolympians able to see clearly the meaning,  spirit, aim and purpose behind the Olympic spirit.

Scorchlympians – Scots burned by the Olympic torch while it wound its tortuously Nazi route throughout England and North Britain.

Scorelympians – People of Scotland who like to record points or strokes made by competitors at the Olympics.

Scornlympians – Scots with open unqualified contempt and disdain for the hateful Olympics.

Scotchlympians – Disqualified Scolympians due to an over reliance on the national drink, Scotch Eggs and Scotch Pies.

Scootlympians – Some of the fastest Scottish runners not taking part in the Olympics

Scoochlympians – Specialist Scots short distance runners unable to take part in Olympics

Scooplympians – Scottish media types, primarily from the BBC, determined to get exclusive stories from the Olympic village.

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2 Comments

Filed under Culture

2 responses to “Salmond’s secret Olympic list leaked

  1. Barbarian

    Like it!

    Salmond’s word was definitely a case of Scosmellshitelympian…….

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