Sturgeon’s Jakey apartheid tax set tae get chibbed by the SWA Young team

As predicted by AhDinnaeKen’s Ned correspondent Buckfast Commando in May, Diageo’s SWA young team is set to gie prohibition Sturgeon the public doin’ she deserves

Jakey apartheid makes you want to cry into your Buckie and denies you the Buckie to cry into.

By Buckfast Commando

AH PREDICTED a riot back in May when clip moothed tee-totaller Auld Nick Sturgeon sayed she wis gonnae slap a jakey apartheid tax on chape voddy and the like man.

And ah’m gled to say, ah was right.

Pure mental man. She is gaun doon. Diageo’s SWA young team don’t f****n’ mess when they’re challenged tae a square go.

They’ve got baws the size o’ fitba’s man and they’re feart oh nae c**t – especially no a humour bypass holy joe like Sturgeon and her mingin’ SNP team o’ naebudy’s.

She is gonnae get the auld Glesca kiss followed by the metro-fourical malky – and we’re aw gonnae huv a ringside seat oan the telly.

Me. Ah cannae wait

Fur sterters, the SWA’s gonnae huv her up in front oh some big wigged law basher at the Heid Coort in Heidinborrow fur a session. Haw haw. She might be able to caw in some favours fae her heidbanger pal MacNaeskill, but ah doubt it man – he’s normally mare pished than Eric Joyce.

They haufwit Labourers at the Big Bloodyrude Cooncil telt them no tae dae it like this, but they didnae listen – too smert fur their ain guid.

An then there’s the Big Cooncil in Europe man. They don’t gie two flying f**ks aboot onythin ither than spondoolie rules and legal rules man.

The SWA Young Team ken that if this fight goes there it wull get held up for ever – probably longer than the Neverendum man.

Sturgeon is oot o’ her depth oan this and she knows it – but she’s too faur in tae back oot.

Fat Boab the Sun King isnae sayin’ much ower this either.

He got a bitch slapping when he tried to play the big man back in 2009 at Johnnie Walker in mingin Kilmarnock.

He tried to tell the Diageo young team whit they could and whit they couldnae dae with their merchandise – their merchandise mind – no his.

The Big Man – the Bone Collector, the Heid Honcho – Paul Walsh shin pit Fat Boab in his place man. Gied im a richt doin oan the telly so he did.

It wid huv been funny if it hundae meant aw they folk losin their joabs.

Mah uncle worked oan wan ah they lines and he had a guid scam gaun where me an him selt chape whisky roon the Coatbridge pubs man.

Nae mare – thanks to Fat Boab and his bloated ego. F****r!

Onyways, it luks like Auld Nick Sturgeon’s vanity project isnae gonnae see the light o’ day.

Jist as weel. Ah’ve been developing a taste for a mix o’ Frosty Jack’s, chape voddy and Red Rooster fae the poun shoap.

See ye’s later efter the first sesh at the Heid Coort in Heidinborrow.

Jakey Apartheid Tax 

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1 Comment

Filed under Culture, Economy, Law, New Bills

One response to “Sturgeon’s Jakey apartheid tax set tae get chibbed by the SWA Young team

  1. ello

    fit like .

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