Tantalus tells Salmond to stop the torture

Greek mythological character tells anti-Midas touch Salmond to stop torturing everybody and get on wi’ it

“After 10 years of Neverendum torture – psychological torture – it’s great to do an austere Greek tragedy.” said Tantalus yesterday.

By Sissy Fuss

SNEAKY NEVERENDUM campaign operators are using clauses hidden in the small print to lower expectations during the consultation.

The uncertainty has hit 3 million Scots voters by slapping Devo Max, Devo Min, Devo Plus, and Devo Minus clauses onto ballot papers.

But seven in ten people on “fixed” expectations do not realise that the whole shebang can be derailed on a legal technicality should the Scottish Government wish it.

Neverendum beaks on the Just Say Yes (please) campaign will today lower expectations by another 3.6 per cent.

AwinittheGither managers  have already lowered expectations by insisting that there should only  be one question on the neverendum ballot paper.

Voters have been consistently turned off by the idea of independence and would rather have a free pint of Tennents from the Daily Ranger instead.

The only political Firstminster interested in pursuing a “vanity project” second question is anti-Midas touch Sun King Alex of Salmond.

Spokesperson for the anointed one Wee Naebudy said: “Devo Max/Min/Plus/Minus/Lite/Heavy/Lager/Tops cannot be delivered and we’re willing to fight to the death to make sure it isn’t.”

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Filed under Culture, Election, Referendum

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