Sun King Moses of Salmond revealed his divine status on the eve of the Bloodyrude Holy Day
By Handov Thelord
1 Then the LORD said unto Sun King Moses Salmond, Go in unto Pharaoh Cameron, and tell him, Thus saith the LORD God of the Freedom Seeking Scots, LET MY PEOPLE GO, that they may serve me in European Union.
2 For if thou refuse to let them go, and wilt hold them still,
3 Behold, the hand of the LORD is upon thy budget which is in U-turn disrepair, upon the pasties, upon the fuel duty, upon the caravans, upon the grannies, and upon charitable tax relief: there shall be a very grievous murrain.
4 And the LORD shall sever between the voters of Scottish Nationalism and the voters of Unionyptians: and there shall nothing die of all that is the children’s of Scotland’s Nationalists. For they are indeed, the chosen people.
5 And the LORD appointed a set time, saying, To morrow the LORD shall do this thing in the land.
6 And the LORD did that thing on the morrow, and all the budget pledges of the Unionyptians died: but of the pledges of the children of Scottish Nationalism died not one.
7 And Pharaoh Cameron sent, and, behold, there was not one of the pledges of the Scottish Nationalists dead. And the heart of Pharaoh Cameron was hardened, and he did not let the people have more than one question on the ballot paper.
8 And the LORD said unto Sun King Moses Salmond and unto Auld Nick Aaron Sturgeon, Take to you handfuls of McAlpine guff from the assembly, and let Sun King Moses Salmond sprinkle it toward Westminster in the sight of Pharaoh Cameron.
9 And it shall become small U-turns in all the land of the Unionyptians, and shall be a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon grannies, throughout all the land of the Unionyptians.
10 And they took the McAlpine guff of the parliament, and stood before Pharaoh Cameron; and Sun King Moses Salmond sprinkled it up toward Westminster; and it became a boil breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon grannies.
11 And the spin doctors could not stand before Sun King Moses Salmond because of the boils; for the boil was upon the spin doctors, and upon all the Unionyptians.
12 And the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh Cameron, and he hearkened not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Sun King Moses Salmond.
Here endeth the sermon