I watched as the Darling opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come and see!” I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a Facebook Account, and he was given an opinion poll, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. – Book of Referendamnation 6:1-2
By Roastin Hell
VOTE FOR Independence and your kids will be ConDemned to suffer eternal damnation, a moderate Scot told the electorate today.
Labourers’ former Horseman of the Apocalypse Asmodeus Darling today launches a cross-party drive called Awinitthe Gither aimed at encouraging Scots voters to avoid everlasting torment.
Asmodeus will tell campaigners at HeidinBurrow Naepain University lecture hall: “If you choose the path to hell there is no way back. It is like asking us to buy fags and matches for our children as soon as they’ve started walking.”
Mr Darling said he will try and avoid a “negative case” for leaving the UK.
He will add: “Scotland’s future, hell’s future and the future of the abyss will be ecumenically, theologically and pastorally stronger as a partner in a United Hellminster.
“The truth is that this coming together of heretics, blasphemers, apostates, charlatans and Tory tax dodgers is an abomination, not something to shout about.”
The Awinitthe Gither campaign – which has engaged the Mercurian strategists who helped bring the Great Satan Obama Bin Laden to power – will also distribute 500,000 reasons why burning in hell is awfy sare.