Buckfast Commando’s Top Ten Tips fur dealin wi’ Sturgeon’s Jakie Apartheid Tax

“See they bawbag bead rattlers man, they’re gettin on the Young Team’s tits man.  Here’s sum tips man fur makin yer student loan or yer giro go that wee bit further man.

“Ye can shove yer f****n’ minimum price up yer erse.” said a spokesman for the Buckfast Commando Young Team, yesterday

By Buckfast Commando

1) Get a joab that pays better than minimum wage (Ah ken – jis huvin a laff man – ah’m pished)

2) Stay loyal to the Buckie man – the stupit price unit disnae affect it wan bit – it’ll still cost the same fae Navid’s shoap.

3) Get mad wi’ it even mare man – yer hingower wull last longer and ye’ll no notice ony difference tae it’s time tae stert drinkin again man.

4) Take wan mare bucket than yer usual afore ye stert tryin to get pished. Ye know it makes sense man.

5) Shoplift mare than normal – get caught less than normal.

6) Fight yer pals who’ve goat the bottle mare so’s you can get it mare fer yersel man.

7) Mug ony bawbags that get in yer way fir thur money man – that’ll bate ony 50p per unit pish man.

8) Gie that fugly Auld Nick Sturgeon a doin fur me if ye see her. Ye’d huv tae be mad wi’ it tae pump that onway man.

9) Set up a booze run wi’ yer uncle and hi’s van an sell it roon the scheme man.

10) Watch the news (Haw Haw). Diageo’s SWA Young Team is gonnae stick it tae they eejits at the big cooncil onyway man – nae wurries man.

Mare Shite Wurth a Luk

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Culture, Economy, Environment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s