As Labour increasingly look like they’re going to get the kicking they deserve in the Scottish cooncil independence ‘dry run’ elections, radical proposals have been leaked to the media.
By Koodye Believit
AN ORGANISATION set up in the late 1800s and which boasts more than 200,000 members, trade unionists and activists could merge with the Conservative party in Scotland.
It is one of three previously unthinkable options being explored by the grassroots of the Scottish Labour Party.
Maintaining the status quo and a reconstituted Devo Lite Scottish Parliament option are also on the table.
A review team plans to report to the National Executive after 3rd May, depending on how harrowing the upcoming cooncil thrashing will be.
The Scottish Labour Party’s previous record of power includes forming a coalition with lickspittle whores the Liberal Democrats, putting their foot down on dog dirt and keeping the Scottish Parliament’s profile at Parish Cooncil level.
This ‘proud’ record had been produced and executed by its own members and was considered a ‘divine’ gift which the people of Scotland should be grateful for.
But, incomprehensibly for the party, the ungrateful Scots had proven ‘too stupid’ to appreciate their valiant efforts, leaving it in a quandary.
Lack of intellectual rigour, direction and focus, had also been pinpointed for the party’s collapse in May 2011.
Looking around parliament, they realised that the Conservatives had remained consistent in their political objectives and doctrine.
Faced with the prospect of independence and having to act on their own initiative, the plan was mooted that they should merge with the Conservatives because the Scots probably wouldn’t notice the difference.
In a pamphlet entitled ‘Whit can we dae? Help somebudy – please!’ Scottish Labour’s driving force, Tom Harass, argued in favour of the previously unthinkable merger.
He said: “We operate on the blackwhite principle regarding the SNP – whitever they say or dae, we dae or say the opposite.
“Since the SNP have become the equivalent of the auld Labour party, we must oppose them and the closest party to that doctrine ur the Tories.
“Therefore it is only natural that we merge wi’ them cos, realistically, there isnae much difference onyways other than them being mare consistent.”
Tom Harass is currently assisting the psychiatric community with their enquiries.