Chance for older women to be dads

By Moan McVulpine on Apr 10 – christ, is that the time

INDEPENDENT WOMEN could soon become biological dads without the need for a man in their life thanks to a breakthrough in SCOTTISH! Edinburgh University.

Social Scientists in Scotland and the USA have teamed up to grow dads in the nerve cells of women.

Apparently, females who are past looking female could benefit – although as we know, many women struggle to look female far earlier than their 20s.

If men can be dads in their 40s and 50s why not women? We are living longer more masculine lives. There may even be an advantage to becoming a dad after the mortgage is paid – standing up while your peeing.

Children also keep you on the ball. There is no better exercise than getting a toddler to pick up your fags and buckfast from the local shop.

I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be an ordinary person, pacing the room wunnerin if mah coupon’s up at the fitba. Almost but not quite

So I will celebrate this ability to become a dad by lieing in front o’ the fire wi’ two bars on while listenin’ to the results coming in on DAB radio technology.

COMEDY RELIEF:

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