Prohibition Scotland: Smoking not inhaling

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. The average Scots smoker knows because they’ve done it thousands of times.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and free thinking, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

By Geeza Fag

MORE REGULATION  is on the way over the display and advertising of tobacco products in Scotland.

It is the latest in a long line of laws intent on driving civic citizens into a state of perpetual boredom and SNP voting.

But will it work and why are intolerant SNP Gauleiters so keen on targeting smokers?

Since the smoking ban was implemented in Scotland in 2006, SNP Gauleiters noted that voting patterns resulted in an increased percentage share of SNP votes.

An overall swing of approximately 13 per cent between 2006 and 2011 witnessed the unprecedented return of a majority SNP government to the Big Bloodyrude Cooncil in Edinburgh.

With an independence referendum on the political horizon, the age at which people can legally smoke has been increased from 16 – 18 while the SNP government hopes to reduce the voting age from 18 – 16.

Coincidence or electoral magic – you as a potentially joyless presbyterian voter should decide.

Later this year, tobacco products will be taken out of vending machines, with Gauleiters seeking to ban displays in shops and potentially force manufacturers to use plain packaging.

Smokers, it is fair to say, probably need a UN protectorate order due to a virtually imminent extinction.

In the 1950s, when virtually nobody voted SNP, eight in ten men (80%) smoked. By 1974, 45%  of adults were smokers and this coincided with a sizable SNP vote in Scotland of around 30%.

With the exception of a few extrinsic acts of “treachery”, including voting for a Thatcher tory government in 1979, the SNP have seen a commensurate rise in votes directly coinciding with the drop in the numbers smoking.

Official SNP spokesperson Wee Naebudy said: “The relationship between voting and smoking took us a wee bit by surprise at first.

“Like any political interest party we have been quick to act on the opportunity in the national interest.”

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Filed under Culture, Environment, Newspeak

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