Bloodyrude gas leak has stopped talking, says Total Politicos

English politics magazine says surveillance flights and satelite surveys show gas leak on Bloodyrude platform has gone out.

“Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise council keep it secret being determined to carry it into execution." said a gas leak yesterday

By Inn Sendiary

THE FLARE on the Bloodyrude government platform stricken by a gas leak has extinguished itself due to the Easter recess, Total Politicos has said.

Surveillance flights and observers close to the parliamentary exclusion zone confirmed that Sun King Alex of Salmond had left the building.

The magazine said: “We received the first indication that the flare may be out at 12:31 for an eccies lunch.

“The news was then reaffirmed at 16:36 following its fourth pint of the day.

“We received what we consider to be final confirmation at 08:20 this morning when our smartphone twitterers reported no further gas flare activity through the night.”

The magazine has said there was minimal risk from the gas flare, which was currently launching an investigation into itself while simultaneously Soutering up embarrassing knighthood time activity.

About 200,000 cubic metres of gas has been escaping every day from the Sun King’s platform each time he appears there in the Bloodyrude parliament.

Proposals to stop the leak include “killing” the gas source with its own politically embarrassing activities, forcing it to free information when requested, and not voting for its party in the local elections.

The gas is coming from a large belly under a sea of eccies breakfasts, caramel wafer elevenses, lunches, dinners and high donation teas. It is then escaping into the electorate from a leak on the platform at the top of the well, close to Arthur’s seat.

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